I asked a friend of mine what he'd like to know about single girls. Like, what burning questions did he wish he had the answers to? And then I got curious, so I asked a couple more single guys what they wondered about.
Turns out single girls are just as confusing to guys as single guys are to girls. I think most of us kind of knew that already, but to play along with my own game, let me attempt to answer a few of their questions. Some of them were great questions that will most likely come up in a future post, but for now, here's a few that were quick to answer. Keeping in mind that I am merely one single girl out of many.... many single girls and that the opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of other single girls out there. (At this point in a DVD I'm wishing I could just fast forward to the menu already, you know?) So, here goes.
Do girls like to look at themselves in the mirror? In general, no. Most girls do not check themselves out in the mirror the way some guys do. You know... "dude, my pecs look sweet today". For some girls, looking in the mirror isn't much more than a reason to find and pick on personal flaws. Personally, I look in the mirror to check for glaring mistakes, like Oreo cookies stuck between teeth or smudges of chocolate on shirt.
Is it more important that I find the girl funny or that I'm funny to her? Well, I'd say that they're both equally important. Most people I know are with their partners, in part, because they make them laugh. I think most girls would appreciate a guy who can make her laugh and would hope that she can get a chuckle or two out of him. I guess if I had to choose, I'd say that it's more important that she finds you funny. Because, really, do you want to spend a lot of your time, maybe even the rest of your life, with someone who doesn't laugh with you? Not really. ( Also, please notice I did not say laugh "at" you. With.) I think it's really important to add though, that trying super hard to be funny is going to work against you. Intelligent people are funny and because funny is such a personal thing, there will be a girl out there who laughs at you even when you're really not trying to be that funny. That's the girl you want to grab. (Figuratively, of course. Grabbing a relative stranger doesn't go over very well)
What kind of men do women fantasize about? Dude. There is just no way I can answer this one. It's so damn individual. Really. You know that saying "one man's garbage is another man's treasure" or whatever? Yeah, it's something like that. One woman's hot fantasy fodder is another woman's dull and dreary or creepy. I'm not sure it's even as simple as saying women like to fantasize about hot men. Some women fantasize about a guy who always remembers to put the toilet paper roll so the paper comes from above, not underneath. It takes all kinds, my friend.
Should I ask a girl for her phone number or her email? This is an interesting one, and I'm really only speaking for myself here. I'd be much more comfortable giving my email to someone. It allows me the space I'm comfortable with. It lets me suss out what the guy's like before I decide to give him my phone number. Plus, I can get kind of tongue tied on the phone so an email lets me collect my thoughts. I just think it sounds more casual. "Why don't you give me your email and we'll get together sometime." Rather than "Hey baby, what's your number and how would that dress look on my bedroom floor?" I think it depends on the guy's comfort level. Asking for a phone number is much more direct and I think it more clearly defines your intent. (ie. I want to possibly date you)
And while we're on this topic, should I ask for her number/email or offer her mine? Ask for hers. She'll be flattered. Once you have hers you can then offer yours if you'd like. "Why don't I give you my number" always sounds to me like some kind of business deal.
Why don't girls cook for themselves well? Who says they don't? Unless you mean me and in that case it's quite simple. a) I never learned. and b) I can't be bothered. I dunno. I'm maybe the exception to the rule. I'm not the most domestic of women. Don't really sew, don't really cook. I make up for it with my charming personality and by batting my eyelashes a lot. Or, maybe my complete lack of wifely skills is the reason I have not yet been snapped up, and, yet, you don't see me rushing off to a culinary course or knitting baby booties do you? (Heh.) I'm sure there are lots of single girls who cook well for themselves.
Do they ever let their bedrooms get as messy as boys? No. As messy as I've seen some girls' bedrooms, I have never met a girl who allowed their bedroom to get as messy and stinky as a boy's bedroom. Plus, it states on page 324 of our Girl Manual that we can't reach that state of disarray and must maintain a bedroom where human beings can breathe the air without passing out or turning green. (Whoops, I'm not sure I'm allowed to publish that info.)
Umm.... why it is that they are only interested in me when at least one of us is unavailable? Maybe knowing the other person is unavailable makes them more attractive ? (Wanting what you can't have.) Or maybe some people have issues with commitment and are only interested in people they know they don't really have to ever be in a relationship with? (Safe.) My Mom has a theory that when one is in a relationship, one is happy and relaxed, therefore being more attractive to members of the opposite sex. I think she's got a point. It may also explain what people keep saying about "you find that special person just when you've stopped looking" Because when you stop looking, you relax. So, invent yourself an imaginary girlfriend so that the ladies will flock to you but you won't have to really break anything off with anyone! ( Unless your imaginary girlfriend takes on a life of her own and starts stalking and harassing you. In which case, move.)
There. Advice from a single girl.
And now I turn it over to you! Guys, what have you always wondered? Gals, what would you have said?
17 comments:
I don't think I would have said one thing differently (including the domestic goddess part - so you aren't alone on that one).
Although there is a good chance I have let my bedroom get as messy as some guys I know - bad habit of throwing clothes all over the furniture. When I do laundry is it usually really clean for about two days. :)
OK, but might there have been, say, two year's worth of dust/grime under thoses clothes on the furniture? And possibly dead icky bugs and... pizza boxes and maybe a milk carton or two?
Probably not, right? ;) lol
All pretty accurate.
Although I too have a fairly messy room much of the time. Just laundry though, no large jack rabbit sized dust bunnies.
I might have to disagree with the mirror thing. I think most girls look at themselves in the mirror. Next time you are at the gym, or in a department store look around and you might be shocked.
I'm assuming that "laundry messy" is not the same as the "guy messy" that my friend is talking about ; ) Cuz, yeah, sometimes the laundry does build up!
You know, Single Girl, you totally have a point about girls and mirrors. I completely forgot about the fact that some girls look at themselves in the mirror enough to make up for the fact that I rarely do. I'd forgotten what it was like to work with 18 year olds who are oh so very concerned with their maekup and hair : )
I'm going to have to do some secret mirror observations. ; )
I agree with these as well. Although you may not look in the mirror as much as some other girls, I'd say we still don't generally "like" looking at ourselves in the mirror. I don't think most of us are looking in the mirror just to affirm that we are still as gorgeous as ever;>
I had to think about the messy bedroom, and I came to the same conclusion as you. I've never known a girl that would allow her bedroom to end up like some single guys let theirs. Trash, dirty dishes, clothes that smell bad because they've been drenched with sweat...I don't think we do that.
Are you required to have a post like this every couple months to renew your "Single GIrl Advice Giver" license?
What's up with the attraction to the Bad Boy Types? 98.7% of all straight women have a thing for the bad boys. (I tried to back up my numbers, but it may just be a guesstimate)
Woo Woo: OK, so, we're not as "mirrory" as guys, this is probably a good thing, no? or no one would do anything... they'd be too busy looking in mirrors all the time.
And, absolutely, I don't think we do that. I can even see what you described! LOL
McGone: Yep, I have to renew my license regularly enough to keep the moniker.
Awesome, I just used the word moniker. Woot!
And dude? I must be in the small percentange that isn't up for the bad boy type. more on this later.... I think. I'm still technically in bed.
On Mirror time...
I think mirror time isn't based on gender but more upon personality. I know both guys and girls who are regular mirror visitors, as well as guys and girls that use it minimly. I even think there are probably more guys out there of the "should check more often" then there are girls who should check more often. Most girls I know at least do a quick check over before they go out. I'd hazard I know numerous guys who don't even think about it.
On cleanliness..
Girls rooms can be untidy. But guys rooms can be biohazadorous verging on gaining a form of lower sentinence. I know some guys that have some pretty nasty rooms. Untidyness/clutter is ok. Growth is not.
On Bad Boys...
Bad boy thing? I heard it's about the idea of excitement, of wildness, of thrills and adventures. I've also heard that it's because they're usually also the guys who are willing to tell a girl that she's hot, to ask them out, and to make them feel special. I'm not saying this is the way to go. Often times if the guy's a jerk it won't last. Moral of the story? Be confident (not arrogant) and if you appreciate a girl, then say something. Jerks are jerks and pass to the wayside. You don't want to be that. And if you aren't willing to say boo to a girl then you're outta luck.
Jordan, you are now, totally allowed to give Advice as a Single Girl..
hrm... wait.... Advice for Single Guys?????
So sleepy...
Thank you! Thank you! Advice as a single girl? How did you know I was wearing a dress? I mean.... uh.... Advice for single guys! Right... um... if you leave the house for some sort of frolicsome event in a somewhat silly or comical outfit, don't be suprised to find pictures of yourself in aforementioned outfit on the internet. I'm not. And you shouldn't be either.
Two things about which I have wondered:
1) What non-verbal signals do girls employ to indicate that they are interested and attracted?Recently, on an airplane flight, I was chatting pleasantly with the woman sitting next to me. As the conversation progressed, whenever I said something which made this woman laugh, she would reach out and touch my arm. Of course being a guy, I jumped to the obvious conclusion.
Seriously, I know everyone has different ideas of personal space but I'd be interested in hearing a sampling of the things women have discovered themselves doing, either consciously or unconsciously, to indicate to a guy that they wanted the coversation to continue.
2) Why do you women have to smell so good?
Just wanted to say - that was one of the best blog posts I have read *ever* - and I have been reading blogs for a long time.
(I was going to write "forver is a very long time", but thought that a little too close to Peter Pan) lol
The note about laughter made me smile - my other half laughs AT me more than with me. I don't help that situation much either (neither do I mind it)
Jordan: heh...
Jonathan: Thank you! :) I'm feeling very flattered! hee!
cocoa: I would have to agree on the "arm touching" as a flirty thing. I'd also say the whole body language (leaning in ) thing. Um... what else? The tricky thing with the whole non-verbal signals is that many of us (er, me) don't know we're doing them and many of us don't think our way through it. I tend to think if you *think* you're getting a signal, you probably are.
As for number 2: Because the alternative is nasty! heheh.
I think y'all are just over-sensitive to scents maybe. I've never been able to smell someone's hair, for example, but I hear about that one all the time! I think they should come out with a cologne for men that smells like bacon. Mmmmmmmm bacon.
:)
I don't know if you'll ever read this, because it's on an old post. I'm a guy, so I guess my opinion doesn't count, but I think people smelling like bacon is kinda gross. I mean, bacon is awesome but......
Anyhow.
I have a question for you. Are girls who say that they don't and never have...... "pleasured themselves" telling the truth?
Hi Anonymous,
I *do* get to see all my comments, and your opinion does count. We're all entitled to ours, right? :)
As for your question, I can't honestly answer for all girls. I can only answer for the girls I know and have talked to and they have done so. I used to totally NOT admit to it however, because it was just too embarrassing. So it's possible that if a girl says she hasn't, she hasn't, or maybe she just doesn't want to talk about it. :)
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