Tuesday, 8 May 2007

Distracting Myself

I feel like I'm not allowed to feel bad about my situation right now which kind of makes it harder for me when I *do* feel bad.

I can't help but feel guilty that I'm upset about a relationship when there is so much more going on out there.

It's hard.

But part of me keeps quietly pointing out that I need to let myself feel badly as a natural process. Perhaps it's just a matter of keeping it in perspective. My breakup? Not the end of the world, no, but still difficult and sad in its own way.

Because I'm not really sure what to say here about anything quite yet, I thought I'd write down some of the random thoughts I've had. A way of distracting myself from the realities of what's going on I suppose.

Here goes:

1. I didn't realize how much I rely on the "shortcuts" on my computer. My Safari bookmarks, for example that navigate me to all my favourite blogs and websites. My Widgets that remind me of the email accounts I need to check. It's quite disorienting. Like when someone at the store asks you for your phone number and you realize you can't think of it because you never call it.

2. I like salty things and sweet things. I'm undecided about salty/sweet things.

3. It's sunny and quite windy. This seems backwards. Like it's only allowed to be windy when it's cloudy and wintery. I don't know why.

4. Do reality TV shows always make us like the person who comes in second more? Why do they do that?

5. I'm tired.

6. And hungry.

7. I don't need to make a list of ten items. It just would look better.

8. To who?

9. Should that be "whom"?

10. Ha. Ten.

11. I need a nap.

10 Comments:

Blogger McGone said...

You're all right, V. Sorry things suck now, but you'll be kewl in no time.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007 10:12:00 pm  
Blogger dilling said...

Chubby Hubby ice cream by Ben and Jerry's is Salty and Sweet and makes you feel better....
And you absolutely can feel exactly how you feel without guilt. There are always better or worse things in the world, but what you feel is REAL and needs to acknowledged...and I feel for you. I do. Much love.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007 10:30:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Mc G.

You too Dilling.

: )

Wednesday, May 09, 2007 7:50:00 am  
Blogger Yvonne said...

I'm so sorry for all the crappy crap. ;( I second Ben and Jerry - next to Ernest and Julio, they are my 2 of my favourite boys.

Thursday, May 10, 2007 2:58:00 am  
Blogger Jordan said...

salty and sweet? Like skittles in sea water? That sounds kinda yucky if you ask me.

Thursday, May 10, 2007 7:31:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Yvonne. I'm not quite at the "ice cream and wine" stage, I'm more at the "pretend nothing has happened and it'll all go away!" stage. Which, you know, not too healthy. ; )

And, Jordan, that's, well, kind of not really what I meant. Um.... but... yeah. Heh. That is indeed salty and sweet, you're right.

Thursday, May 10, 2007 7:57:00 am  
Blogger Yvonne said...

I'm pretty good at the "pretend nothing has happened" stage too. I'm also good at meaningless distractions. (Like say...Sawyer fantasies. >;-D)
Here's to good things happening soon. ;)

Friday, May 11, 2007 12:24:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

I'll second that notion of "good things happening soon" Yvonne!

mmmm.... Sawyer AND Desmond?.... and Jack? mmmmm (giggle)

Friday, May 11, 2007 6:48:00 pm  
Blogger Yvonne said...

Heck, let's throw Sayid in there too! hehe

Tuesday, May 15, 2007 2:56:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Wheeeee!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007 7:55:00 am  

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