Friday, 10 August 2007

Advice for the Broken-Hearted

Dear us,

When someone ends a relationship with you, it's going to hurt. What you want to do is try to make the length of the hurt shorter, if possible. While I can't help you with the crying, I can help you with an important part of moving on, the, um... uh "I Can't Think of a Title" part.

Here's what you need to do:

1. Delete his/her number from your cell, contact lists, phone, memory. If you've memorized it, un-memorize it. Now you can't phone your ex sobbing, begging, promising or threatening. If he/she made a mistake and wants you back? Well, they can call you. There's nothing worse than having an ex tell you to stop calling after they've already dumped you. Get rid of the phone numbers. (Smith's numbers are all long distance, so there's no way I remembered them. I can remember all but three digits of his home number, to be honest, but still, can't call him.)

2. Erase his/her email from your address book and databases. You do not need to email this person anymore. The relationship is over, they ended it, there's nothing more to be said. (This took me a while to figure out how to do in Mail, and I nearly threw up once I realized I could no longer contact Smith even if I wanted to. This is why you do these things fast, and hopefully while you're still in shock and a little angry.)

3. Get rid of any reminders of him/her. Throw out photographs, emails, gifts, PHOTOS, all of it. If you need to, put things in a box and give it to someone, but trust me, the sooner you get it out of your house, the sooner you can start moving on. (I've done this twice with Smith now. Once when I told him I wanted a break, and now again. I put all his emails and photos on a disk and it's in a cupboard somewhere. Means less chance of me running across things that hurt when I see them.)

And that's all I know. Everything's so individual. Maybe some of you like to get out and party it up. Maybe some of you like to stay home and watch sad movies, I don't know. Do what you need to do to remember that you're a good person and you do have people in your life who love you and that the asshole who just dumped you is going to regret it until the day they die. And hopefully they'll die sad and alone on that day while you're off living your fabulous life without them.

Good luck. Other fish in the sea and all that.

OK, now seriously:
I wrote this right after Smith broke things off. Now I'm not so sure. Really, most of the time I just try to do what seems like the right at the time. In this case, I'm just remembering my last breakup and the fact that I got over it eventually. I still think this is probably pretty good advice. It just doesn't make it feel better. That part's just going to take a while.


Blogger cocoa_no_gogo said...

You're a good egg, Victoria.

Friday, August 10, 2007 3:13:00 pm  
Blogger Laura said...

It takes awhile. But it does get better.

Friday, August 10, 2007 3:49:00 pm  
Blogger Delton said...

Hey, sorry to see that he broke it off. That's never an easy thing to go through. Here's hoping you can manage to get over him without too much hurt. Hurting sucks.

Sounds like some good advice in this post.

Best wishes.

Friday, August 10, 2007 5:20:00 pm  
Blogger Princess of the Universe said...

Excellent advice- very hard to follow though...

Friday, August 10, 2007 6:09:00 pm  
Blogger Ryan said...

I agree, V, if it's a break up it's a BREAK up... and I too have found that the best way of doing so is ridding everything of and about your previous partner and moving on.

Unfortunately some wallow and fade in and out with their ex that they never move on with their life, and they end up losing precious time that could be spent with finding a more compatible partner.

Life goes on, and so must we. You go girl. :)

Friday, August 10, 2007 9:28:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Cocoa.

I don't know Laura, but there's only one way to find out...

Thanks Delton, right now I'm just hoping the hurting won't last too long.

Thank you Princess (nice name! ;) )

Ryan, I'm working on it... moving on. Not ready to go there yet, but not having stuff around helps. I've *not* called and emailed him around twenty times already only because I can't.

Friday, August 10, 2007 10:44:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thank you everyone.


Very much.


Friday, August 10, 2007 10:44:00 pm  
Blogger Catlin said...

Hey, I hope you feel better soon. We all know how it feels and it SUCKS. Good luck with everything!

Saturday, August 11, 2007 1:51:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Catlin. : )

Saturday, August 11, 2007 2:14:00 am  
Blogger Tyler Durden said...

I hope you are OK. Break ups suck, especially when you gave all to the relationship or when you really felt love. I did everything that you wrote here, and I met a million girls to get rid of her memories, but I still cry for her. I still miss her and I still love her and I would love to be with her again.

Saturday, August 11, 2007 8:58:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...



Saturday, August 11, 2007 9:06:00 pm  

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