Saturday, 11 August 2007

Oh, But it Was Worth It (a.k.a. Momentary Topic Chanage)

Once a year a certain segment of the spy community holds a banquet to celebrate stuff. Spy stuff. I was invited to this banquet last year and discovered it to be a bounteous buffet of gorgeous young male spies. (This particular aspect of spy work tends to attract more men than women, and the men that go into this area tend to be fit and good looking.) Yum. My.

When I changed workplaces last summer, I assumed I would once again be sent to the banquet. As the date approached and my invitation did not arrive I started to get suspicious. It turned out that my new office did not send any spies to the banquet. I was bummed.

So I decided to sneak in. (Duh, we're spies, what did they expect me to do?)

I got home from work late that evening and realized I had nothing decent to wear. I called up a fellow female spy and asked her if I could get away with dark jeans since any other pants I could wear were in the wash or did not go with any of the shirts I wanted to wear or weren't nice enough to impress hot guys. She said there was no way I could get away with jeans so I fished out a skirt, and realized I needed to shave my legs so that I didn't have to keep them constantly under the table.

No problem right?


Until I grabbed the razor out of the shower, dropped it accidentally and watched the blade pop off and slip right. down. the drain.



It was now close enough to banquet time that I didn't have time to run out and buy a new razor and I don't own a pair of nylons. I knew I could not go into this room of hot, available men looking less than lovely so I wracked my brain for possible solutions.

Could I go with dirty pants? Work clothes? Would anyone notice anyway? Damn, how was I going to get myself to this banquet looking more than half-decent?

And that's when I remembered my camping kit. Already pre-packed to make life easier, I knew it'd have a disposable razor tucked somewhere in there, and sure enough it did.

My "be prepared" spy training had saved the day and I managed to get my legs silky and lovely just in time.

The banquet was its usual treasure trove of eye candy and I ran into some great former co-workers and a former crush or three, it was awesome.

The lesson we all want to learn here though, ladies, is that it pays to always have beauty necessities on backup.

Or long skirts.

Or, maybe both.


Blogger Yvonne said...

Too funny. ;)
(And yes, my wardrobe consists of many long skirts!)

Saturday, August 11, 2007 4:36:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

; )

Saturday, August 11, 2007 4:47:00 pm  
Anonymous The Duchess said...

I need to work on my spy training! I would have been stymied...

Saturday, August 11, 2007 5:38:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...


Saturday, August 11, 2007 7:06:00 pm  
Blogger The Ex said...

I'm so totally believing you're a spy now!

Saturday, August 11, 2007 9:11:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

*evil laugh*

Er, I mean... of COURSE I am. Not. Am.



Saturday, August 11, 2007 9:40:00 pm  
Blogger Thomas said...

Hey from Seattle.

Saturday, August 11, 2007 11:48:00 pm  
Anonymous ynbf said...

"Be prepared" is the boyscout motto. I used
to be a boyscout as a kid.

My friends thought I was a weirdo for
carrying around a first-aid kit and a box of
screw-drivers. The screw-drivers actually
came in handy when an elementary school teacher
needed it for something. I don't carry the
screw-drivers around anymore, but to this day
I still carry around a first-aid kit. In the
past four years, it came in handy three times
to help some kid who fell and scraped his knee.
Once was while running on on the Galloping Goose
Trail, I over-heard a Mom telling her son,
"you're going to have to wait until we get to
the car. I don't even think I have band-aid
there." So I stopped and offered them some. They
probably think I'm a weirdo. But hey, I
wasn't wearing a cape or tights.

But back to your lesson. Should us guys learn
this lesson too, in case we need to sneak into
some super-secret convention?

I don't even know what skirt size or bra size
I am! "No, this isn't for my girlfriend. This
is for me. Can I try a size larger than this?"

Saturday, August 11, 2007 11:54:00 pm  
Blogger Tyler Durden said...

As a guy, we would not notice that you did not shave. Unless you look like a soccer player, if you have a skirt that shows a nice butt and nice legs, we would NEVER notice that, unless of course we get up close and personal. AND THEN if we are close and personal no one is going to kick you out of bed for not shaving for a day.

There. Good guy point of view.

Sunday, August 12, 2007 5:40:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Hey Thomas. And Seattle!

YNBF, I can't imagine how hilarious I'd find it if I had a kid who scraped their knee and you suddenly arrived with a bandaid. Awesome. As for you guys, you don't need to learn much for this lesson except maybe always make sure you have clean pants and shoes because we will probably look at that. If you needed to buy a bra or skirt, you could just tell them it was for you... for...Halloween?

Tyler, good to know! ; )

Sunday, August 12, 2007 10:43:00 am  

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