Thursday, 9 August 2007

Well, That's That Then


In a phone conversation a couple of hours ago, things between Smith and I were firmly put to rest.

Smith does not want to be in a long distance relationship.

And seeing as that's all we can manage right now, we're done.

Or, more precisely, he's done.

With us.

Kind of ironic after this morning's post, no?

I'm going to be pretty sad and hurt for a while, but seeing as that's not particularly new around here, I'm hoping y'all will stick around until the happy comes back.

Which I hope it will.

I miss it.

For future reference, I don't think I'll be writing about a relationship here again. It's too difficult when it starts to go wrong.

Kind of kills the whole anonymity thing too, to know that an Ex can follow me here for the rest of my life if he wants.

So, I guess Smith gets to be the only boyfriend to appear on this site until I find my Mister Perfect.





I really wanted things to work out for us.

But I guess you knew that already.

21 Comments:

Blogger The Duchess said...

You could always start a new ultra Anon Blog like I did last week. It's kind of therapeutic.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 3:24:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

True enough.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 3:31:00 pm  
Blogger dilling said...

don't forget to tell me where it is, though!
we'll be here, "waiting" for happy with you...

Thursday, August 09, 2007 3:41:00 pm  
Blogger The Ex said...

Don't for the love of god let the fear of being found scare you into not sharing.

DON'T LEAVE ME VICKY WICKY PICKY MCSMICKYPANTS.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 3:43:00 pm  
Blogger Laura said...

I'm sorry Victoria :(

Like one of your commenters said last week, there's the good, the bad, and the ugly. At least this is not falling in the ugly category, at least you have a clear answer and can move on. I know it's not much consolation. I recommend a box of Kleenex, some great music, ice cream, long walks, hot baths, and good laughs with friends. Eventually, it will be okay.

One thing I've learned the hard way is that it's really easier if you cut off all contact, though that takes some inner strength.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 3:48:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Dilling, thanks. It's good to have partners in waiting.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 3:56:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

The Ex, don't worry, I'll just have to lie to new boyfriends instead. Always a good way to build trust! ; )

I won't go and I'll work on the sharing. Just like in pre-school.

Oh, and thanks for the nickname. Totally made me laugh!

Yours sincerely,
Vicky Wicky Picky McSmickypants.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 3:57:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Laura, thanks. I'm sorry too.
It was actually what YNBF said last week that made me sit Smith down (via phone) and force him to give me a clear answer. Hurt like hell though. I'm sure it'll be better in the long run, (insert other such things here) and all. I lay on the couch all day and now feel like crap so am going to go out. At least to the store to buy more junk food. And then a bath later, I think.
As for contact, I've just deleted all emails and photos and phone numbers so I literally can't contact him anymore. Which both sucks and is good because all I want to do every half hour or so is email/call and beg him to change his mind. Which just isn't going to help.

Sigh.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 4:00:00 pm  
Blogger Likalia said...

Nothing much to say that hasn't been said I suppose, remember we are always here for the support, laugh, whatever.

As for not blogging about boyfriends, I have to agree with you it is better to be general about relationships rather than specific. Though I find ex-boyfriends follow you whether you have a blog or not though if thy really want to.

Anyway, have some *HUGS*!

BTW - I'm impressed that you got rid of everything with regard to him I don't think I have ever done that.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 4:51:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Likalia : )

I kind of laughed when you said ex boyfriends will follow you if they really want to. That's true.


BTW - I may still accidentally have a photo of him on my computer, plus the ones I put on flickr. But I actually never used to get rid of stuff from Exes but I did when I realized I was agonizing over long dead relationships every time I got out the dried roses/love letters/gifts so I got rid of that stuff. Then when my last ex dumped me I was so mad at him I gathered up everything he gave me and pushed him, with it all in his arms out the door. It made me feel better to not have the stuff around to cry over. I mean, I know I'm going to cry anyway, but no point dwelling, right? And, if/when I get a husband, why would he want me to have stuff from my Exes? Wouldn't that mean I wasn't over them?

*shrug*

But what do I know?

Thursday, August 09, 2007 6:46:00 pm  
Blogger McGone said...

Kind of kills the whole anonymity thing too, to know that an Ex can follow me here for the rest of my life if he wants.

True. But one day you won't be talking about him any more. And he'll be glad for it. You'll both be glad when you have moved on. You just can't see it happening yet, but it's there. Trust me. I had a talk just tonight with a friend about something similar in my life and for something so awful at the time to now seem like an event that happened to someone else is amazing.

Plus, she doesn't know I know when she reads my site. Thank you Internet technology. It just makes me laugh anymore.

I ramble.

Anyway, I just wanted to say a.) I love the picture you have for this post (as simple as it is, it fits perfectly) b.) I like the Victoria who gets excited about people who read and donate to charity (so bring her back soon) and c.) I'll stick around.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 8:56:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

McGone,
Firstly of alls, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I guess my concern for the anonymity thing is more about a scorned lover broadcasting to everyone who I am and what my address is and blah blah blah. I guess I just already don't trust my future boyfriends. Nice.

I'm sure I'll feel differently in the future. Or, at least, I imagine I will. *sigh*

I guess in some ways I kind of want Smith to keep on reading (er, assuming he is at all, maybe he's not) I guess just like I don't want to think about being in a new relationship, I don't want to think about talking about one. We'll see. Or whatever.

I ramble too.

Want Smith, blah blah blah, what?
Wait, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

So, yeah. OK.

Anyway.... a) Thanks. I felt this was the right photo for the post. b) Thanks. I kind of miss that me too. She's around. Just... well, yeah. Sad. c)Thanks. I'm glad.

:)

Thursday, August 09, 2007 9:43:00 pm  
Anonymous ynbf said...

In this situation, I would do what I did when
my 4 year old niece fell and hurt herself.
I picked her up, gave her a hug and tell her,

There, there. Everything will be alright. I
promise you everything will be alright.

Thursday, August 09, 2007 10:47:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

*bursts into tears*

Thursday, August 09, 2007 11:09:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks YNBF, that's just exactly what I needed to hear.

*sniff*

Friday, August 10, 2007 12:02:00 am  
Blogger Tod said...

I'm sorry it didn't work out :(

Friday, August 10, 2007 10:11:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

nods

Friday, August 10, 2007 10:39:00 am  
Blogger Yvonne said...

I'm so sorry, I really wanted it to work out for you both. {{big hugs}}

A good friend of mine sent me this quote last year when I went through my break-up (and was swearing up and down I would never get involved with another guy);

"You can never 'absolutely' trust that someone else will never hurt you, you can only 'absolutely' trust that if they do, you will survive it."

And damned if she wasn't right.

Friday, August 10, 2007 10:19:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks, Yvonne, I did too. I still do.

I guess I know I'll survive, I just don't feel like I want to right now, you know?

Oh well.

I did enjoy some cherry garcia ice cream today so that wasn't so bad

; )


Thanks though.

Friday, August 10, 2007 10:40:00 pm  
Blogger Tyler Durden said...

NOOOO!!!! You have to write about you're relationships. They are obviously a big part of your life. Just keep your site anonymous. You've seen my page, and believe you me, NO ONE will ever know me in person. They would think - realize - that I am a freak.

Saturday, August 11, 2007 9:02:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

LOL

I'll see what I can do ; )

Saturday, August 11, 2007 9:05:00 pm  

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