Tuesday, 4 September 2007

Are Y'all Born With it or What?

Let's add on to this, shall we?

Boys... listen carefully, do not say the following when breaking up with your current girlfriend:

"It's not you it's me." (We won't believe you anyway. If it wasn't about us, you wouldn't be doing this.)

"You're so wonderful, but..." (This is like when people say "I don't mean to be rude, but". Whatever is said after the "but" cancels out whatever was said before it.)

"I want to be with you but I can't." (Um, no. You could, you just aren't going to be, you're choosing not to. Get it straight.)

"I'm just scared." (What, and we're not?)

"I can't see this working out." (Yeah, we kind of got that once you started talking about breaking up with us.)

"I need space." (OK. Here's all the space in the world. I'll be way over there where you can never find me again. Whoops, that's not quite far enough?)

"It's just bad timing." (Well, so were the 50's and 60's, but that didn't stop these two. Don't use timing as an excuse.)

"My last relationship has left me gun-shy." (Yeah, ours too. What's your point?)

"I'm just not good for you." (Well thanks. And you thought it'd be better to break up with me rather than making an effort to change, did you? Awesome.)

"I'm not boyfriend material" (And you only realized after sleeping with me for months? Cool, thanks.)

"I don't love you anymore" (Yeah, we kind of figured that one out.)

"I still love you, but" (OK, did you not read what I said way back up there? About the "but"s? Also, if you still loved us you wouldn't be breaking up with us so don't bother trying to slide this one in there. We call bullshit)

*sigh*

14 Comments:

Anonymous Dominic said...

Hmm.. that doesn't seem to leave us much that we CAN say.

Should we just do a bunk and leave the ladies to figure it out by themselves, then? :)

Tuesday, September 04, 2007 9:44:00 am  
Blogger The Single Girl said...

Wow. I actually heard no less than five of those in my last break up.

But really, if they don't say any of those things ... what is left to say?

Tuesday, September 04, 2007 6:53:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

It's funny you two should mention that because as I was writing these out I thought to myself "well, really, what CAN they say?" ; )

I guess nothing's going to make it hurt less really and depending on the guy and the situation one of these might hurt more or less.

Suppose I'm just bitter right now or something! : )

Bottom line,it's not easy to be dumped, but I guess it's not easy to do it either.

*shrug*

: )

Tuesday, September 04, 2007 8:16:00 pm  
Blogger Ryan said...

Maybe the best solution for a bloke is never see or call her again... that way she'll "get the hint"!!

Hehehe ;o)

Tuesday, September 04, 2007 11:46:00 pm  
Anonymous Dominic said...

Maybe your next post could be some suggestions on what we SHOULD say? :)

Wednesday, September 05, 2007 2:40:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Ryan, well, then we'd probably have to call the police and report you missing! ; )

Dominic, you're just not allowed to break up with us, is all! hee hee!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007 7:44:00 am  
Blogger McGone said...

Have you considered what it would be like if they were all used together? To wit:

You're so wonderful, but... I can't see this working out. Look, It's not you it's me. I want to be with you but I can't. I'm just scared.

I need space.

My last relationship has left me gun-shy. I guess I'm just not boyfriend material.

I still love you, but I don't love you anymore. I'm just not good for you. It's just bad timing.

(And really, you don't leave much room for what a guy can say... and women use some of these gems too, you know. ;) )

Wednesday, September 05, 2007 8:38:00 am  
Blogger qubodup said...

Girls say the same stuff btw.

What *do* you want the guy to say except. "You and me! - No more!" ?

Wednesday, September 05, 2007 6:33:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

McGone, I think the funny thing is that I have had all (or almost all of these at once before!) at the time, if I'd been a fly on the wall it would have been hilarious! Having never broken up with a guy I can plead innocent as to what gems we can come up with but I'm sure it's equally "bad". And yeah, I don't leave much room, my bad! ; )

Wednesday, September 05, 2007 8:44:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Qubodup,
I guess I'm lucky I've never had to hear this stuff froma girl too. wait... wha?

heh.

In an ideal world no one ever breaks up with me because they're just perfectly madly in love with me.

but... um.... other than that I just ask that they're sincere and honest and understanding and I'd really like it if I'm dumped in person and if they will let me cry a puddle onto their shoulder after. That can help sometimes.

I guess it's just hard getting dumped on the phone and seeing as I'm still smarting from that I've been dredging up all my past breakups in my mind and wishing they'd never happened.

There's no good way to break up with someone, that's for sure.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007 8:47:00 pm  
Blogger Kristin said...

It might be weird to comment on a post you made years ago but I am reading through your archives. I am going through a break up myself (long distance for over 3 years!!) and I have found your posts very helpful and relatable. Thank you so much for blogging! I plan to read through all your archives ;)

Friday, July 23, 2010 4:28:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Nah, I always comment on posts I really like even if they're forever ago too!

Sorry about your breakup, but I'm glad if my posts have helped even in the slightest. Hang in there. *Hugs*

Saturday, July 24, 2010 12:21:00 am  
Anonymous Janee said...

LOVE this. So true! I've heard them all (from the same guy). He never followed through, though. Still here. Go figure!

(love your site)! :)

Friday, November 11, 2011 1:04:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Crazy! ;)

Friday, November 11, 2011 3:46:00 pm  

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