Monday, 24 September 2007

Long Distance Relationships: Redux

So. Long distance relationships.

Seeing as I've come to the end of my (what is it now?) fourth long distance relationship, I find I have some more thoughts and questions about it all.

First of all, in my experience it has been the guy who backs out of the long distance thing, not me, and I have now heard the same reason at least twice: "I want to have the person I love next to me all the time. I want to wake up with them."

Which makes me wonder, are men wimps?

One would think that we emotional, hormone laden women would be the ones whimpering from lack of companionship, so why is it that the men claim they can't handle it? Is it just an excuse, an easier way to end things? I mean, seriously, no one misses cuddling and intimacy more than I do, so why am I never the one ending a relationship that has none?

Also, I'm thinking that long distance relationships may be for the young(er). Maybe it's easier when you're in University or haven't established yourself in your career/job.

Maybe when you're 19 and a lingerie salesgirl at the local department store you don't care where you end up.

Maybe when you're just out of University and you don't mind where you get your first job it's easier to up and move to who knows where to be with someone.

Once you've been settled in a job for a while, especially one where you accrue seniority or raises or have good benefits, it's difficult to consider moving for someone, there's "grown up" stuff that comes in to play.

I certainly know it's a big thing to consider leaving your job not knowing what you're walking into. And maybe when you're younger it's easier. Or not?

Perhaps, once again I don't know what I'm talking about, but I do know that Long Distance relationships and I don't have a good track record and that next time I'm in a relationship, I'd really prefer it was with someone who lived in the same town as me. Permanently.


Blogger Delton said...

Actually, I think you answered your own question here without even realizing it. You've simply been looking to the wrong type of guy to get into long distance relationships with. You need to find yourself a 19 year old guy working in a department store or else a guy fresh out of University who doesn't mind moving. Just pick one of these, and...tada...problem solved!

Monday, September 24, 2007 6:45:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Ahhhh hah ahah ahah aha hah!

Monday, September 24, 2007 7:14:00 pm  
Blogger Princess of the Universe said...

I did it once, and it was under the exact circumstances that you described...just out of University, willing to move if I had to. It never got that far, but it came pretty close.

Sometime I wonder though...why do I assume that my exact perfect soul mate would necessarily be conveniently found in my own city? Maybe you have to search for them, and that makes it so much better when you finally find each other.

Or maybe that's just the justification in my head when I ask myself why I'm still single. ;P

Monday, September 24, 2007 7:45:00 pm  
Blogger The Single Girl said...

So I guess the question now is ... how are you going to meet someone who lives in the same town as you?

Monday, September 24, 2007 7:59:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Sure, maybe you do have to find them, but if they're not conveniently located in the same city, then somone's going to have to move anyway which isn't convenient!

Oh well. We'll just keep lookin, right? ; )

Monday, September 24, 2007 8:06:00 pm  
Blogger Likalia said...

So if you do find someone in the city you live in, is it really true love or just enough love that you are willing to settle because there isn't as many inconveniences that way?

And if you do get together with that person and start living a contented life and then travel elsewhere and actually meet your true love what do you do then? I mean then there are all sorts of "grown up" problems coming your way - breaking up, moving, etc etc etc...

Oh I think I just gave myself a headache over thinking this one. *sigh*

Monday, September 24, 2007 10:30:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

woah, dude... it's so way to early in the morning to figure that one out!

; )

Tuesday, September 25, 2007 7:55:00 am  
Blogger Tod said...

I think everything is easier when we're young. But at the time we just don't realise it.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007 9:29:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god, same story here! I for one like LD relationships because I find I get along better with someone I don't see 24 hours a day. Go figure. Plus, as I wrote on my blog once, there's something sexy about boarding a plane every time you have a date. But my last LD boyfriend also gave me the line that it was too complicated and he wanted someone there all the time. Then dude, why did you start this? And men call us high maintenance! Puh-lease.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007 12:48:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Tod, that's so true.

A Martini, I guess the plane ride can be seen as a perk and yes, LD relationships have their plusses (mmmm, bed to myself) but puhleaze...if you know you what you want/don't want then don't start! *finger snap and head bob move*

Tuesday, September 25, 2007 8:04:00 pm  

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