Friday, 7 December 2007

Honestly?

Okay. This is not a delicate post. If you're sweet and innocent and not wanting to read about things like man parts, (or are my Mom) go here instead.

You've been warned!

I've been getting a lot of spam lately about my penis.

Now you and I know I don't have one, but none of the spammers seem to be aware of this minor detail.

Apparently were I a man and my d!ck was bigger, I'd finally make my lady happy, I'd be able to stop paying for sex, and I'd be fighting the ladies off. Amongst other things.

Which makes me wonder. Who's believing this stuff?

In all honesty, the best sex I've ever had was with a guy who wasn't particularly big. And some of the er, less enjoyable sex has been with guys who were biggerly endowed.*

So I need your help, y'all. I need to find out if I'm the odd one out here. Ladies, do you honestly wish most of the guys you've been with were larger? Guys, do you really think we want you to have bigger schlongs? Do you really think it makes our sexual experience better?

For me? Bigger is not better. In fact, it's often worse. But maybe that's just me.

What say you? Let's be honest here. Are the spammers onto something? Does it even matter?

Honestly? Does a bigger you-know-what equal better sex?

I vote unequivocally no.



*Well, if I wasn't still a virgin, of course. I'm just speculating from things I've heard.

26 Comments:

Blogger Catherinette Singleton said...

I'm pretty sure that the people that buy this are the same ones that also think they have a long lost uncle in Nigeria who died and left them millions of dollars.

Friday, December 07, 2007 10:41:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Wait, you know my uncle? ; )

Friday, December 07, 2007 10:45:00 am  
Blogger Catherinette Singleton said...

Oh, you didn't hear? He died and left you a bunch of money. I've been working with the lawyer and we need to pay him his legal fees then he'll wire the money to your account just in time for Christmas!!

I just need you to provide me with your social security number, bank account information, driver's license, and the keys to your house and car.

Friday, December 07, 2007 10:46:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Nice! I'll get right on that ; )

Friday, December 07, 2007 10:51:00 am  
Blogger Laura said...

Lol @ this whole post topic, plus the comments. So funny. I often wonder that, like, who falls for this stuff?! I agree with you about the quality of the sex vs. size of man-parts issue. Well kind of. Sex is not that great if the guy is really really tiny. Sex is really AWFUL if the guy is too big because then it just hurts. If a guy is anywhere in that fairly wide range of sizes in between the two extremes, then the quality of sex is more about chemistry than size in my experience. But way too small or way too big? Then the size is a problem.

My lord I cannot believe I wrote a whole comment about that.

Friday, December 07, 2007 12:31:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Chemistry = quality for sure!

So, one vote for "normal", not big?

: )

Friday, December 07, 2007 12:45:00 pm  
Blogger The Single Girl said...

Honestly, bigger does not mean better. I have had good and bad from both camps. But I can admit that while i don't need bigger, I do enjoy a healthy girth. That and I totally agree with Laura, chemistry is a "huge" factor.

Victoria, you shock me. I can't believe you are getting us all to write about our penile preference.

*tee hee* I feel like I am twelve.

Friday, December 07, 2007 1:23:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

*giggle*

Er, I mean... I didn't write this! This post was obviously written by someone with um... not me-ness!

Bah!

Point number two: Bigger does not mean better.

Check.

Friday, December 07, 2007 1:53:00 pm  
Blogger Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

Another vote for normal, not big! The biggest I was ever with made me feel like I'd lost my virginity all over again...not fun. I also can't imagine it was great for him since it didn't really "fit".

Friday, December 07, 2007 7:36:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Oh, I hear you on that one!

Um..ow!

Friday, December 07, 2007 7:40:00 pm  
Blogger dilling said...

Hmmmn....difficult question. I think that good is good, regardless of size. And? Bad is bad, regardless. It's not the size but what you do with it...right? And I can't believe the Single Girl talked about this stuff when she was twelve! Gah. I must have been a very late bloomer.

Friday, December 07, 2007 8:45:00 pm  
Blogger Mrs. Wilson said...

haha ... great post! I have to say that bigger is not necessarily better. It's not the size of the boat that counts, it's the motion of the ocean!

Friday, December 07, 2007 8:46:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Dilling, I know what you mean, but for me, there's a point where too big is just not comfortable and no good/fun. I didn't necessarily think TSG meant she talked about it when she was twelve, maybe just more like "giggle, giggle, talking about boys it's like being 12!" Or, maybe I was just a late bloomer too : )

Mrs Wilson, that's so true. :D

Friday, December 07, 2007 8:52:00 pm  
Blogger Yvonne said...

hahaha I love this entry!

It's hard to believe that pen!s spam is still so ubiquitous.

Bigger is DEFINITELY not better, it's all about the person and how they are with you! (Though, am I a bad person if I think that *tiny* can be a drag? lol)

Saturday, December 08, 2007 12:54:00 am  
Blogger dilling said...

HEY!!!! I just won the Irish Lottery this morning! How cool is that?

Saturday, December 08, 2007 10:21:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Yvonne, you have NO idea how much penis spam I get, it blows my mind!
I've never encountered tiny so I have no opinion : )

Dilling, let's go pick it up together, my uncle can meet us there (it's on the way to Nigeria, right?)
: )

Saturday, December 08, 2007 10:55:00 am  
Blogger Alexandra said...

Really tiny is bad. Really big also bad.
Somehwre in the very large range between really tiny nad really big, it's all about the chemistry and the typical "what he does with it".

I regret now not bringing a glass of wine for this discussion :0

Saturday, December 08, 2007 12:32:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

A glass of wine certainly would have made this easier! Although, it does make it harder to type. : )

So, another vote for inbetween eh?

: )

Saturday, December 08, 2007 7:00:00 pm  
Blogger Jordan said...

As a straight guy, I don't have any preferential advice on this one. But I can offer some familial opinion. When I was young child, my grandmother bought me a shirt. It was my favorite shirt because I liked fishing and the image on the front was a guy in a boat, fishing over the side. I wore that shirt all over the place. Looking back now, I realise that there was more then just a fishing comment at play there. Under the image, the text read, It's not how deep you fish, it's how you wiggle your worm.

I guess you can chalk that one up as my Grandma's opinion. ;) LOL

Saturday, December 08, 2007 10:11:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

I just...have nothing to say : )

Sunday, December 09, 2007 9:56:00 am  
Anonymous Tom H said...

Ladies, thank you for your honesty! Now I'm going to let you in on a little "secret". Most of us guys are more than a little insecure about our ability in bed. Somewhere along the line we got the message that size matters; and it gets reinforced a lot! Naturally we think that we must be under-equipped. Then someone comes along with the "solution" to our "problem". Did I mention that us guys are not all that bright either?

Anyway thanks again from someone who is straight, old(er) and slightly under-equipped.

Monday, December 10, 2007 9:37:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Yaaayyyy!

You're welcome for our honesty Tom.

I think it's one of those tricky cycles. We know we can't say to a guy "size doesn't matter and you're just a fine size" because we've been told if we tell him that he'll think he's not good enough and blah blah blah.

I also think it's hilarious that guys keep on telling me "guys, well, we just aren't that bright" it makes me feel better somehow!

So, you're welcome : )


PS. We're usually insecure about our stuff and ability too! ; )

Monday, December 10, 2007 8:10:00 pm  
Blogger Likalia said...

Yay - your page let me on - blogger was being temperamental.

I have to agree, unless the guy is tiny (which been there - did that? oh don't know couldn't tell) or huge (ouch), size is not all that important. Great sex is about so many factors coming together just right and they are different every time I find.

ps - I love your inate ability to initiate great conversations with your entries - can you guest blog for me. ;)

Monday, December 10, 2007 9:34:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Blogger does seem to be a bit... iffy lately. (Silly comments bah n stuff)

And, yeah, sizo no mattero! : )

PS, thanks! Blush. Giggle. Pshaw!

Monday, December 10, 2007 9:39:00 pm  
Blogger Myla said...

I am voting no as well. I think that the best sex has no direct correlation to the size of his penis.

I really like your blog! Great job!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 3:51:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Hurrah, another tally for the No vote! : )

And thanks! : D

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 5:58:00 pm  

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