Wednesday, 6 February 2008

Look Beneath

I think we all judge people, I think it's hard not to. When we first meet people, we look at their appearance and we assume something. When we see people with chains and boots and bald heads, we assume they are angry and tough and scary. When we see people with dreadlocks and backpacks and hemp shirts, we assume they are hippy, travelers who probably smoke their fair share of special cigarettes.

I think what's important is that we're aware that we're judging and that we remain open to finding out about the person beneath the exterior; the person underneath the shell.

One thing that I'm going to keep in mind is that as well as mis-judging someone negatively, it's possible that I'm mis-judging someone in an overly positive way; he might be really good looking and charming, but that doesn't mean he's a good person.

I need to remember to look closer and not just cling to what I see and hear at first. Know what I mean?


Blogger LeahA said...

I have never intentlly thought about judging someone in a positive way... but your right that one must not just get sucked into the charm without really getting to know them before hand ..thats hard though eh !

Wednesday, February 06, 2008 8:39:00 am  
Blogger Laura said...

Oh my God - I dated this guy once for almost a year when I was 17. He was a jerk and kind of treated me like crap and never opened up or told me anything important, but I had known him back when we were kids and he used to be this sweet little kid. I kept thinking that sweet little kid was hiding in there somewhere and I totally misjudged him as being nicer than he really was. Finally after about 10 months I stood up to him and he really didn't know what to make of it. We got in this screaming match over the phone and he hung up on me after awhile. That was how we broke up. Haha, good riddance.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008 9:09:00 am  
Blogger Mrs. Wilson said...

You are so right. I hate being judged, and therefore I should not judge! And plus, judgments are usually wrong. Usually.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008 12:38:00 pm  
Blogger Tod said...

There is a lot of evidence that juries are more likely to believe a good looking person in court than someone who isn't. So much for objectivity and fairness!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008 3:13:00 pm  
Blogger dilling said...

Did you just call me a hippy?

Wednesday, February 06, 2008 6:02:00 pm  
Blogger Delton said...

Sounds like a good approach. I try very hard to be open-minded about the people I meet, but it's so hard not to make judgments as you said. And I'd never thought about being too positive toward someone. That's an interesting take on things.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008 9:36:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Leah, we shall not get sucked in by charm! (it can be our new mantra thingy) heh.

Laura,I know exactly what you mean. I always think I can see the very best in guys and keep wondering why it's not coming out?

Mrs. Wilson, it's hard not to judge, but I think it's important to try to be aware that we tend to do it... and stay open : )

Tod, there's so much about human nature that's fascinating! Crazy.

Dilling, if I was, would it be a bad thing? ; )

It is really hard not to make judgments, that's true.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008 10:33:00 pm  
Blogger dilling said...

Welllll.....I do wear a spoon ring.

Thursday, February 07, 2008 9:43:00 am  
Blogger Tom H said...

Victoria, I couldn't be prouder of you right now if you were my own daughter! Many people my own age still don't understand that.

Mrs Wilson, Judging is actually a good thing when done properly; it's that knee jerk reaction that is normally wrong

Thursday, February 07, 2008 9:51:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Dilling, I don't even know what a spoon ring is! *slinks off in the corner*

Well thanks Tom! : )

Thursday, February 07, 2008 11:08:00 am  
Blogger Yvonne said...

Totally with you on this. I've found it's the outwardly charming ones that are the ones you need to be the most careful with!

Thursday, February 07, 2008 2:10:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...


Thursday, February 07, 2008 2:16:00 pm  

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