Friday, 1 August 2008


They don't tell you the truth about sex.

When they show people having sex in the movies, or tv, they don't show it like it is.

They don't show the line that's dented into your skin where your pants or your underwear or your bra has sat all day. They don't show the blemishes, the marks, the imperfections of skin. They don't show the awkwardness, the way things might pull or tug in ways that don't add to anything.

They don't show that beyond the pheremones and scents that work, there are also, sometimes, things that don't smell so good. Taste so good. The unwashed humanity of just the fact that we are not made of wax.

Stomachs rumble, legs cramp, elbows crash accidentally into noses. They don't tell you sex is like this.

And I think, most of us, if we sat down and thought about it, might not ever have sex with that new person that first time. Because there's just so much that isn't how it's sold.

Romantic novels? They tell you that sex is hot. Romantic. Passionate.

And yes, sex can be all these things; should be all these things.

But sex is also human. Flawed.

Sex isn't tidy. It isn't neat. It isn't clean.

And yet? It's still worth it.

It's just funny.

I've been sitting here, for the past few days, since it struck me that I might consider sleeping with someone, I've been sitting here thinking of all the ways it could/would be awkward. And I've been realizing that without that passion, that "rawr", that electric attraction that pulls you magnetically towards someone, I probably wouldn't have sex. I can't do it without that.

For me, when you have the magnitism and the electricity? That's when it works.

But that's the only part they show in the movies.

That's the only part that gets talked about.

But that's not the entire truth. It's just the best part.


Blogger McGone said...

You're right. But might I suggest the scene on the stairs from David Cronenberg's "A History of Violence?" Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello made it brutal, hot, scary, erotic, dirty and it all seemed very real.

Friday, August 01, 2008 8:01:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

True, true. *Fans self*

But still, they didn't show you any cellulite ;)

Friday, August 01, 2008 9:22:00 am  
Blogger Likalia said...

Do either of them HAVE cellulite?

You have an excellent point though, when you aren't having sex you tend to forget how real it can be, especially when all you are seeing is portrayed sex.

Friday, August 01, 2008 6:04:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Well, if not cellulite, I'm sure they've got something! heh.

"portrayed sex", that's a good way to put it! :)

Friday, August 01, 2008 6:25:00 pm  
Blogger dilling said...

we laugh a lot....
that's okay...right? i mean, as long as we're BOTH laughing....

Friday, August 01, 2008 6:30:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Totally! (and now I'm laughing)

{ but, not in a bad way ;) }

Friday, August 01, 2008 7:51:00 pm  
Blogger Laura said...

Actually I kind of think the fact that it's not all neat and tidy and perfect is one of the best parts too. How fun would it be if it was all paint-by-numbers and exactly the same every single time? As long as you laugh when something funny happens instead of get all embarassed, then it's all good fun.

Friday, August 01, 2008 9:18:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Oh, yeah, for sure.

I think I was more thinking about the fact that if you think too much about it and what it's *really* like and compare that to the way it's "portrayed" (as Likalia said) you can get kind of freaked out! ;)

Friday, August 01, 2008 11:14:00 pm  
Blogger cocoa_no_gogo said...

Sex for me has always been just like it is shown in the movies. I assumed it was this way for everyone. Maybe I could hire myself out for lessons.

Saturday, August 02, 2008 7:04:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Or, rental possibly?

Saturday, August 02, 2008 7:52:00 pm  
Blogger Yvonne said...

sometimes, things that don't smell so good

No friggin' kidding! >;-(

I was on a first date once with a guy who was completely upfront that he wanted to have sex that night. Then he warned me that he'd been traveling and hadn't had a shower in 2 days.

Gee, how to win a girl over! LOL

Saturday, August 02, 2008 9:56:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Yvonne, I don't even know what to say! LOL

Saturday, August 02, 2008 10:24:00 pm  

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