Of Beer and Panic

So, Beer Fest happened a few weeks ago, (again). And yes, I fared much better this year thank you very much.

And, the weather was awesome, the company was great, and Crannog Ales makes the most delicious fruit ale thing in the world. (I'm not a huge beer fan, so those of you who are gagging at the mere idea of a fruit beer can just ignore this entire paragraph because *I* liked it!) So, all in all it was a good, fun time.

But a funny (strange?) thing happened (...on the way to the forum? huh?) at Beer Fest this year and I've been wondering about it ever since.

I was there with three other girls, all of them in long-term relationships, so their goal for the event was to find me a cute guy. And, I went along with it, because, sure, looking at cute guys sounds fun, right? Right!

So we got there and we'd barely arrived when they spotted a cute guy. And they told me to go talk to him. And I said no. So one of them marched off in his direction saying they'd make me talk to him.

And here's where the weirdness happens.

I panicked. Like, seriously. It felt like I feel when I find myself at the top of a ladder; frozen. And I swear, if they'd brought the guy over to me I would have bolted. Really. I would have run the other direction and probably gone home and hid under my bed. I did not. On pain of death. Want to talk to that guy. Or any guy there, for that matter. Joking about "finding me a guy" was fine, in theory. But as soon as there was a guy right there and I was supposed to talk to him? Panic. I just felt panic.

I tell you, it was the weirdest thing and I'm not sure what it was all about. I tried to explain to them that when I say I'm shy, I actually mean it and that I find myself really only able to "flirt" or talk freely with guys I'm not interested in.

And sure, a few (fruity) beers later and I was chatting away to strangers, but again, only ones I didn't find attractive and therefore wasn't interested in. Or, I was able to talk to them if they approached first, but wasn't able to go straight up to a cute stranger and start up conversation.

I guess I've been trying to figure out if this means there's something wrong with me or if my brain just protects me from getting into situations I'm not comfortable with. Or what. Why did the idea of talking to a complete (albeit cute) stranger make me feel so scared?

Maybe I was thinking too far into the future? Who knows. It just strikes me as odd.