Monday, 17 November 2008


I'm not good at going with the flow.

But I'm trying to be.

I'm learning to be.

It seems counter-intuitive, to have to work at it. You shouldn't have to *work* at going with the flow. But I do. I am.

Working at it, that is.

Especially when it comes to guys. Relationships. Situations.

From the first moment (like, before the first commercial break in a sitcom or the film title comes up in a movie, the early early moments where nothing much has happened but you're starting to be interested) I want to know. I want to know if, when, why, what, how much have you got? (Sorry, my mind slipped away there for a second.) I want it all spread out before me, twists, turns and all so I can decide if it's worth the risk. And I think that some of the choices I made in previous relationships have made me more wary, less trusting of my "trust your gut" feelings.

But I do need to learn. To learn to go with the flow. To relax. To not take everything so seriously all the time. To not have to make decisions immediately. To take the time to wait and figure it out. Or, to let it figure itself out.

So I'm trying to get better at going with the flow.

Which involves a lot of breathing and doing other things and talking to people who remind me to not worry so much and to not have to have it all figured out right this instant.

I might not be a natural at going with the flow, but I'm going to keep on trying to get better at it.

They say practice makes perfect, right?


Anonymous Dominic said...

They do say that. I've come to the conclusion that they're lying, tho. Sometimes, practice just makes me more consistent at being bad at something :)

There's at least one reader of your blog who seems to have to work at relaxing, maybe you could compare notes..

Luckily, I was born very laid-back, it's working hard that I have to work hard at.

Monday, November 17, 2008 9:18:00 am  
Blogger S said...

Hmm, I have problems going with the flow as well. I usually have about 300 thoughts in my head at any one time, most of which are related to freaking out about the future. And I've been trying to rela and go with the flow too.

I've found that the easiest way to go with the flow is just to lose yourself in the moment. Have so much fun that you forget to stress out making decisions, to take everything seriously etc.

So girl, go out and have some fun! :)

Monday, November 17, 2008 12:41:00 pm  
Blogger dilling said...

there's a flow? dang! that explains a lot.

Monday, November 17, 2008 1:08:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Dominic, have you ever wondered who "they" are? (looking around shiftily)

S, so many thoughts are kinda annoying, huh? But, I will indeed go out and have some fun as ordered! :D

Dilling, that's the rumour I keep hearing! heh

Monday, November 17, 2008 6:31:00 pm  
Blogger D said...

Hey there. I'm a pro at going with the flow! *shrugs, but with a big grin on the face*

Monday, November 17, 2008 9:28:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Lucky! ;)

Monday, November 17, 2008 9:50:00 pm  
Blogger Alexandreena said...

I don't even know what the flow is. I'm the "must be in control at all times" sort of personality. I deal very badly with things I cannot control, and with un-structured decision making, and unclearly defined situations...and I'm suspicious of people because they're unpredictable.

I also worry about a million little things, and a few big ones, and a few possible but highly improbable situations.

And I tend to overachieve, lest I feel like an under-achiever (middle-way who?)

I could spend a lot in therapy trying to get over this, but my funds are tied up in the shoe market right now...

Monday, November 17, 2008 10:49:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Alexandreena, I'm very much a MUST BE IN CONTROL type as well! Change is teh evil.... Eeeeeeveeeeeel! ;)

I wish I loved shoes. I feel like I'm missing out.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 4:53:00 pm  
Anonymous Single Girl said...

Ah...I am the same. I also find that not being able to go with the flow goes hand in hand with over-thinking (the topic of one of my recent blog posts). When I was writing the post, I came across this great quote by Anthony Hopkins: "“We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It’s a death trap.”

When we meet the right guy, shouldn't it feel easy to just go-with-the-flow? Or will we still have to work at it?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 5:33:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Hey SG. Great quote. (Might have to write it out somewhere!)

I like to think that when we meet the right guy it'll just feel easy, but I imagine that, in reality, we'll still think about it, it'll just be easier. That make sense? :)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 6:34:00 pm  
Blogger auntie said...

i'm in the same boat when it comes to going with the flow...because why waste my time and get attached to someone when it's not really gonna work out in a week or two? i have to work on being "easy-going", which, like you said, doesn't seem like something you should have to work at, but i do it anyway.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 3:34:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Oh, I so totally hear you!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 4:05:00 pm  

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