Friday, 23 January 2009

A Light Haunting


I keep seeing Smith this week.

First of all, I was emptying out a drawer looking for a specific item a couple of weeks ago and I found a CD. I wasn't sure what was on it, so I opened it up on my computer and found I'd kept all the early, romantic emails from Smith, and all the photos I'd ever taken of him, and us.

And it wasn't a nice feeling; seeing them and reading the couple of emails I opened. It made me miss what I thought we were going to have all over again.

But, I didn't linger long over the CD and I recycled it and moved on.

Until yesterday, when I was in the grocery store and the man in line in front of me struck up a conversation about chocolate with me. And, let me tell you, this guy could have been Smith.

Same look, same height, same hair, same way of talking and moving and all of it. Same.

It was weird, because I didn't realize it until mid-way through the conversation and when I did, I didn't quite know what to do with myself.

It made me want to run home and call him and get back together, because Smith had a certain charm about him, and this guy did too.

But, then again, don't they all?

I'm not sure why I keep running into Smith reminders lately, but maybe it's a good thing. Maybe it's a final purging before the Universe moves me on.

Or maybe it's a reminder.

I'm just not sure what of.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Dominic said...

I keep coming across these little echoes of my ex, too. Photos I thought I'd long-since deleted, mementoes, people just like her..

It sucks. And my other blog has been getting an unusually high number of posts as a result.

But on the plus side, once all the clamour raised by the echo has faded again.. I feel a lot better for it. So maybe they ARE things to be grateful for, and they DO help to move on.

Fingers crossed, anyway!

Friday, January 23, 2009 8:37:00 am  
Blogger Laura said...

I have one ex... not Chris, but my first-ever boyfriend from high school... who I always "see" everywhere. It's not really him, but there have been a bunch of guys I've run into or seen on TV over the years that remind me of him. It's weird eh? I don't really think it means anything though.

Friday, January 23, 2009 2:41:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Dominic, that's a neat way to put it "echoes". And yes, fingers crossed that they'll help you (and I, on my end) to move on!

Laura, it might not mean anything, true, but it's still weird, yep! :)

Friday, January 23, 2009 7:57:00 pm  
Anonymous Single Girl said...

I wish a guy would strike up a convo with me in the grocery store! :)

Saturday, January 24, 2009 10:00:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Hey, surround yourself with giant size chocolate bars and see what happens! ;)

Saturday, January 24, 2009 10:31:00 pm  
Blogger Jonathan said...

There was this girl I was really close to for a long time - but we never actually had a "relationship" - and I still see her everywhere...

Ten years on.

Sunday, January 25, 2009 2:36:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Do you see her or see what turns out not to be her?

Sunday, January 25, 2009 9:50:00 am  
Anonymous movin' down the road said...

my guy shaves his head. He's out of the country and with him gone, I notice so many things that are "him", including, how many men out there shave their heads!

Sunday, January 25, 2009 6:44:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Our brains are so funny, eh? :)

Sunday, January 25, 2009 7:06:00 pm  
Blogger Jonathan said...

I see what turns out not to be her - and I know it's not her when i first clap eyes on whoever it is - just that some deep part of my memory kicks in, and I see the way she walked, the way her hair was, or the bob of a girl's pigtail - it's weird.

Monday, January 26, 2009 6:12:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

I totally know what you mean. And it is weird. Or, at least it feels weird!

Monday, January 26, 2009 5:15:00 pm  
Blogger Yvonne said...

I hate when The Universe pulls shit like this! (Like, what exactly is the message?! I never quite figure it out but it will drive me nuts and make me sad and melancholy.)

Thursday, February 12, 2009 2:48:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Yeah... I'm just trying to let the Universe have its way and maybe I'll figure out or not. *shrug* ;)

Thursday, February 12, 2009 7:08:00 pm  

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