Friday, 5 February 2010


One of the first things I did after finding Jeff and his (coughcoughyeahIcallbullshitcough) friend together in his bed was call up one of my close friends to go out for coffee. I hadn't seen her all school year, a fact she was kind enough not to mention when I called.

When I told her what had happened and what was going on, she said the words that would change my life. "That sound like an abusive relationship to me."


It echoed around in my brain and I knew she was right.

How had I not seen it earlier? When had this happened? How had I not noticed?

And, more to the point, how lucky was I to have a girlfriend who was able to gently show me what I'd been unable unwilling to see?

It took me a while to leave, as twisted up as I was in Jeff and whatever tatters of the relationship I thought remained. And ironically, I wasn't able to tell him I wanted out until he told me he wanted us to move in with his friends, all of whom smoked.

I've never liked smokers. I can't be around cigarette smoke. I won't date someone who smokes. That Jeff would move us to a house full of smokers was the last straw. The voice in my head wasn't quiet any more. It was loud.





So I did.

To be continued . . .


Blogger AJR said...

Misery loves company! Thanks for sharing your story, Victoria. Feel free to check out mine as well!

Friday, February 05, 2010 12:37:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Misery does, but so does Happy! ;)

Friday, February 05, 2010 4:40:00 pm  
Blogger the one in the back said...

Your friend really hit it on the nose. Good for you, standing up for yourself.

Friday, February 05, 2010 7:56:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

She's a good friend. I'm really glad she was there for me :)

Friday, February 05, 2010 11:27:00 pm  
Blogger Elle said...

Have you mentioned this relationship before because I'm really feeling like I've heard this story before and I just can't figure out why. It's been bugging me all week, I kind of feel like I'm losing my mind! That being said, I love how you tell the stories of your life. It's just nicely done. Maybe that's why I feel like I've heard it before?

Friday, February 05, 2010 11:42:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Elle, I've mentioned a couple of random things about this relationship before, like that he was a musician or that he was my first or that I kissed him, but never more than that. So you're not losing your mind, you're just... er... piecing together bits and pieces? ;)

Friday, February 05, 2010 11:55:00 pm  
Blogger Elle said...

Yes YES! That must be it. It has to be it. After I commented, I went and read a couple of your early entries and realized it must be that you've semi-mentioned him before. I feel a bit less crazy now. lol.

Friday, February 05, 2010 11:59:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Yay! Glad you're feeling less crazy hee!

Saturday, February 06, 2010 11:21:00 am  

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