Friday, 9 April 2010

So Then

So anyway.

Putting aside whether or not I actually enjoy the process of looking at profiles on line (I do not), I sent a message to a nice looking guy to say hi.

He sent me a message back and after a couple of brief exchanges, asked if I'd like to meet for coffee this weekend.

I said sure (before I could mentally talk myself out of it and therefore never actually go through with it) and that's how I came to find myself nervous as heck getting ready for a "date" Saturday morning. (And you guys? I was so nervous. What if we had nothing to talk about? What if we didn't have enough in common? What if we had too much in common? What if he wasn't cute and it was awkward? What if he was perfect and I've just met my husband? Oh lord, what if I have to pee?)

I needn't have been nervous (even though I was) because he was a nice guy and we had a TON of things to talk about and lots in common and shared good laughs and interesting conversation and the whole thing was really good. I had fun and I was sure he was too.

Until the end.

When it came time for us to part ways (he had a previous family commitment and we'd planned our meeting time around it) there was no attempt at a hug or even a handshake, which is fine, since some people aren't comfortable with being physical with strangers, but there was also no suggestion that we do it again.

There was only "Ok, well, goodbye, have a good rest of your weekend."

So that pretty much put a damper on it for me.

Well, ok, to be honest, that totally sucked.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

My bff once said to me that dating is like a workout! Not every workout you leave feeling fanfreakintastic. So you just do to do so you can get to that fanfreakintastic feeling again!

The point was your on the journey...You need some wisdom for your daughters and that my friend cones from experiencing life.

The story goes like this I went in this coffee date and I was so nervous....

All My Relations.

Friday, April 09, 2010 10:28:00 am  
Blogger Ray said...

Maybe he just wanted a friendly chat. That or he'll message you saying "what, no hug or handshake?". Regardless, it's all practice and the more you practice the better it'll get.

Friday, April 09, 2010 11:27:00 am  
Anonymous Dominic said...

Yeah: Don't discount the possibility that he's thinking exactly the same thing!

Friday, April 09, 2010 1:17:00 pm  
Blogger Jill said...

Argh! The world of profiles & dating and going for that first coffee dat. So many questions, so many mixed signals. It's enough to drive you batty!

Friday, April 09, 2010 1:58:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ugh. I hate when a date ends and leaves me feeling empty. I guess that's a sign that it's not meant to be? Seriously, when first dates are awesome (rare), it generally leads to something more. When they suck, we try to blame it on nerves, family committments, etc. But really...go with your gut on this one. If he's texting or calling you, then perhaps give him another go.

Friday, April 09, 2010 3:27:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

That's a good point, Anonymous, you can't always feel fanfreakintastic! And, yes, it is another story too. True :)

Maybe he did Ray.

He could be Dominic, but I doubt it.

It is a little batty-driving, Jill!

Yeah citygalwrites, I think it is a sign it's not meant to be. :/

Friday, April 09, 2010 4:57:00 pm  
Blogger Single and Picky said...

At least it wasn't a frigid hug or side hug. It seems that there are a lot of really nice men out there who view dating like an interview process - and they are mistakenly (in my opinion) under the impression that they are going to KNOW when they meet the one.

I will say consider it a warm up to the dating process and a dodged bullet and awesome drinks night out with the girls lamenting material.

Friday, April 09, 2010 5:44:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

A warm up bullet? ;)

Friday, April 09, 2010 6:43:00 pm  
Blogger Ms Behaviour said...

Maybe he was nervous and/or waiting for you to suggest it? If it helps to think of it this way, every date that doesn't work out brings you closer to the one that will. They're like dress-rehearsals so you can practice being awkward with someone you're not that into. Plus, more material for your blog :)

Friday, April 09, 2010 10:31:00 pm  
Blogger the one in the back said...

Everything went well except for the end...hmm.

Why not just ask him straight up? "Did you like our meeting? Would you be interested to hang out again sometime? Did I smell?" OK, maybe not the last question, but I think you can benefit from just being a straight shooter with this one. Worst case scenario: he makes a lame excuse not to hang out again and you're back to where you were before him. At least you'd know that he's a dud. AND you just got major points for being assertive!
And if he did say yes to your invite, well then you can tell us all about it in your next blog =). Either way, decisive action negates awkwardness. Good luck, God speed.

Friday, April 09, 2010 11:35:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Ms B, I don't think it was a nervous thing on his part, but yeah, I can think of it like a dress rehearsal I guess :)

ToitB, I was as bold as I was comfortable being I think...

Saturday, April 10, 2010 12:32:00 pm  

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