This story's going to take a few days to tell, so you'll all have to hang in there with me, but let me start here:
Last week, while I was feeling down and out about myself and bummed about being single, I looked around a bit on the on line dating site S signed me up for.
I hadn't been on in a while, and was pleasantly surprised to see a couple of cute looking guys.
I figured I had nothing to lose and sent a message to one, and what happened with that is going to have to wait for tomorrow because the whole on line dating thing makes me feel so uncomfortable and I don't know if it's just me or what.
I feel so guilty during the whole process because I'm judging people.
Judging them on how they look or what they've said or some combination of the two that either give me a mental thumbs up or thumbs down.
And maybe that's part of the process. That you *do* judge people that way initially just as you would if you'd have met them at a party or walking along the street.
But I still feel guilty for doing it.
Am I just a wimp or am I being too hard on myself (again)?
4 comments:
You are being too hard on yourself. I personally have to say I've tried the online thing and while I once was fine with it, I've realized that you can't really get a good gut read on a person. Maybe that's why we feel odd about judging someone online - we're missing that social face to face dynamic. At a party for example you can watch how someone interacts with others, their body language etc, online you have a profile and one aspect of a person and you have to figure out if there is something that doesn't belong *cue Sesame Street song.*
If you feel okay with it, then go for it, if not then just consider adding a new hobby, changing when you go grocery shopping - if you are a creature of habit like me, every Sunday at 10 am is apparently not the time to find men in the aisles of Whole Foods - not single or straight ones that is.
Chin up, you're fabulous and you'll be fine.
Alright, chalking one up in the too hard on myself line :)
It is true, it's different missing that social interaction (thanks for putting the Sesame Street song in my head by the way!)
Hmmm, new habit/hobbies, could do! :)
And thanks :)
I would have said exactly what SandP said (only not half as well :) Communication is 90% non-verbal so you really can't tell much about a person from their photo and even less from an email or MSN conversation. Just think of it as a way to meet new people, learn new things, gain new experiences... and possibly material for your best-selling book ;)
Best selling book. Heh. That cheered me up :)
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