I know that's not true, that it's a serious exaggeration but still. One minute he doesn't exist, the next he's on line and then yesterday I run into him on my way home from a walk around the neighbourhood.
I guess a benefit of long distance relationships that I hadn't thought of until now is that you never have to run into them once you've split up.
I can't imagine how I would feel if I had to run into, or even have the chance of running into more of my exes. Running into DD here and there every once in a while is enough.
It's weird, because whenever I run into him it always weirds me out. Brings down my mood. Disrupts my thoughts. Bugs me.
I thought of ignoring him this time. I could maybe have pulled it off. We were heading towards each other on a cross walk, I had my headphones in, I only glanced at him, and I could have carefully studied the ground or my shoes or anything. Anything. But I didn't. Some part of me decided it'd be better to be the grownup so I made eye contact and smiled.
He asked me how I was doing, I said good and kept on walking. Hi, I'm doing good, bye.
Could I have stopped and talked? Sure. Could I have stopped and talked and suggested we go grab a drink and catch up? Of course.
But I didn't and I don't think I would have and man, I just wish I could stop running into this guy.
I guess he lives around here. Nearer than when we were together. And I guess he's single. His profile on the on line dating site would suggest so.
Am I still attracted to him? No. But yes. Physically, mentally, emotionally, no.
Sexually? Yes.
Maybe that's why it's such a weirdness whenever I run into him.
Sigh.
2 comments:
Oh how I wish I didn't know what your feeling. As such I have no solution, other than to say I know how you feel.
I hear ya sister.
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