Thursday, 23 September 2010

DD. Again.


I feel like I keep running into him.

I know that's not true, that it's a serious exaggeration but still. One minute he doesn't exist, the next he's on line and then yesterday I run into him on my way home from a walk around the neighbourhood.

I guess a benefit of long distance relationships that I hadn't thought of until now is that you never have to run into them once you've split up.

I can't imagine how I would feel if I had to run into, or even have the chance of running into more of my exes. Running into DD here and there every once in a while is enough.

It's weird, because whenever I run into him it always weirds me out. Brings down my mood. Disrupts my thoughts. Bugs me.

I thought of ignoring him this time. I could maybe have pulled it off. We were heading towards each other on a cross walk, I had my headphones in, I only glanced at him, and I could have carefully studied the ground or my shoes or anything. Anything. But I didn't. Some part of me decided it'd be better to be the grownup so I made eye contact and smiled.

He asked me how I was doing, I said good and kept on walking. Hi, I'm doing good, bye.

Could I have stopped and talked? Sure. Could I have stopped and talked and suggested we go grab a drink and catch up? Of course.

But I didn't and I don't think I would have and man, I just wish I could stop running into this guy.

I guess he lives around here. Nearer than when we were together. And I guess he's single. His profile on the on line dating site would suggest so.

Am I still attracted to him? No. But yes. Physically, mentally, emotionally, no.

Sexually? Yes.

Maybe that's why it's such a weirdness whenever I run into him.

Sigh.

2 Comments:

Blogger Single and Picky said...

Oh how I wish I didn't know what your feeling. As such I have no solution, other than to say I know how you feel.

Thursday, September 23, 2010 12:33:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

I hear ya sister.

Thursday, September 23, 2010 4:49:00 pm  

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