Thursday, 3 February 2011

I'm Ok. Really.

I know the last few posts have been a little on the heavy, sad, depressed side and I didn't want you thinking I'm in some sort of awful place.

Last week at work (not that I talk about work) was a really hard one that ended with some unexpected news that will make my spy life that much harder for the next little while and I was rather overwhelmed by it.

That lead to a weekend of wanting to curl up in my blanket and feel miserable about everything. I started to go down the "I'll never be in a relationship again because no one will ever love me again because I'm obviously an awful person" path when I stopped myself and tried to figure out where that all was coming from.

I think maybe Introspection has come to live with me for a while because, once again, I came up with some pretty good insight.

I think when something stressful and difficult happens like the news from spy work instead of being all upset about that my brain tries to find something familiar to gnaw on and what's more familiar than "single self pity?"

Recognizing that that's what was going on made it so much easier to stop the "nobody loves me" train of thought it was quite a relief.

So don't worry about me, I'm ok, just one of those bumpy patches. That, yes, I'm perhaps not dealing with as best I could in a bit of a I'll just go ahead bury my head in the sand thank you very much kind of way but that I will.

Meanwhile, the sun has come out and everyone's mood is brighter.

Funny how that works eh?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Single Girl,
I've just started reading your blog and you sound like me at the moment. The most important thing is to find a good friend or professional to talk to. I've got a good friend who is also a social worker so he knows how to listen (poor thing!!) - just knowing someone is there for you really helps. I think one of the worst things about not having met your partner yet (i'm sure you will btw) is feeling you have to deal with everything alone. That makes things very stressful and you start to feel vulnerable (well, I do anyway!) The way to stop it is to get some support from somewhere with someone you feel comfortable with.
All good wishes and hope the sun is shining on you.


Thursday, February 03, 2011 8:07:00 am  
Blogger Single and Picky said...

You know a little run, a cupcake (or maybe two you can have one in my honor) and a new pair of shoes might help throw you off the "nobody loves me train" and on to the "everyone loves me because I'm special, fabulous and I am super cute" train. You need to be on that train.

Thursday, February 03, 2011 12:52:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Anon! :)

Had a run today SnP, totally helped. I think I may have a cupcake to celebrate my new train! ;)

Thursday, February 03, 2011 8:41:00 pm  
Anonymous Russian Brides Blog said...

It's great that you are ok. Positive mindset is a must in this type of situation.

Thursday, February 03, 2011 10:32:00 pm  
Anonymous kevin blumer said...

work is what keeps me going i work non stop just about why since i was single again that is what keeps me going in life then when i find the princess i am looking for then i shall enjoy my life work and no play makes jack a very boring perosn

Friday, February 04, 2011 12:42:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

That's very true RBB!

Work can be a good distraction, Kevin for sure :)

Friday, February 04, 2011 4:21:00 pm  

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