Thursday, 7 July 2011

Drift Away

In The Crowd by foundimagination
One of the things that is always a bit of a letdown (and a year or two ago was absolutely devastating, so yay me for getting stronger in some ways I guess) is when an online dating conversation just kind of... fades.

See, I get how it works now, I didn't at first, but I do now. A guy chats with you because they think they might be interested in you and it's a way to see if you maybe have things in common or if you're smart or funny or interesting enough for the two of you to want to meet.

And if you do want to meet, you arrange that, usually pretty soon, but sometimes up to a week or two after you've first started "talking."

But what also happens and is almost always a bummer is when the guy who'd been answering your messages right away or that same day starts taking a couple of days to answer, or maybe just doesn't answer at all.

I used to wonder what it was that was keeping the guy so busy he wasn't able to send me a message back but I've come to realize it just means his interest has been moved to someone else.

Someone more intriguing or attractive (to them) or younger (a lot of guys have age hangups it seems) or just someone they're clicking with more.

And so instead of messaging you back they're talking to them.

A few guys are good about it and say right up front "hey, I've been seeing someone else and won't continue talking to you." And I imagine one day if I meet a boyfriend via this medium I'll have to say the same to someone, but most guys just kind of...stop talking to you.

As I said, I used to be devastated by it but now I just kind of let it go. I don't know if it's just a matter of getting used to the fact that this is how it seems to work on this site or if I don't really have any hopes anymore anyway or what.

But yeah, I was going to tell you about a nice guy I'd been talking to but he just kind of drifted away, so there's nothing much really to tell.


Anonymous e said...

I wouldn't take it's probably just an etiquette thing. I hate it when my friends/so-called friends don't text me back right away, or "forget" to respond to my text messages, but sometimes I find myself guilty of the same thing. It's just a sad fact of life that people aren't as polite anymore.

If we lived in the same city I would hook you up with some great guy-friends of mine whom I think would love a girl like you!!!!

Thursday, July 07, 2011 6:45:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Yeah, I try not to take it personally for sure :) But I also agree, I think maybe "we" aren't as polite as we might be... I say we bring it back! ;)

And, absolutely, if you have any of your friends who move my way let me know! :D

Thursday, July 07, 2011 8:40:00 pm  
Blogger Solitary Diner said...

Unfortunately, I think online dating makes being rude so easy. Because of the anonymity, people are able to do things that they would never do face to face. I hated online dating for that reason - I didn't mind that some guys didn't want to date me, but I hated that they'd just drop me all of a sudden with no explanation.

( be honest...I did mind that some guys didn't want to date me...I'm human. Online dating was not good for my ego either.)

Friday, July 08, 2011 10:19:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

It does a bit SD, it's true.

And no, it can be a little rough on the ego for sure :/

Saturday, July 09, 2011 11:05:00 am  
Anonymous Mrs. Wilson said...

I've always been intrigued by the world of online dating ... but I don't think my husband would be too keen on my trying it out, haha!! (Not that I would.) (While married, I mean.)

Monday, July 11, 2011 10:12:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...


It's certainly an....experience, that's for sure! ;)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011 4:33:00 pm  

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