Monday, 18 July 2011

Twenty Five

This was kind of a weird weekend for me.

I weighed myself and my BMI shows me to be right at the start of overweight and this clouded a lot of my thoughts this weekend.

Food and weight are so much more for me (and for lots of others I'm sure) than just "food" and "weight". In fact, I'm not sure I have the mental power right now to explain what all this means for me, but I'll sum it up like this for now...

I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to anymore.

Reducing the amount of junk food I let myself eat and going back to watching what I eat? Sucks.

I don't know what I have to look forward to now.

So I kind of feel like I'm mourning the freedom and ease and lightness I've had around food lately and the knowledge that I'm technically overweight has left me feeling unattractive and seeing myself as unattractive when I look in the mirror is not cheering.

So I'm bummed and I'm disappointed and I'm scared.

You'd never know it to look at me, and my friends would probably yell at me for thinking I'm overweight, but my clothes and my weight and my BMI are telling me otherwise.

And I'm not happy about it.

But I'm also not happy about having to go without.

Food's a complex issue.

Weight's a complex issue.

Throw body image in there and it's a confusing mess.

I know everyone struggles with these things to some extent, I just wish I wasn't one of them.

14 Comments:

Blogger Sharron said...

I hear what your saying, I am 40 and I still battle with the whole weight/body image issue and I get mad at myself for caring more about what the scales say than I really should. Don't let it get you too down - easier said than done I know

Monday, July 18, 2011 9:17:00 am  
Blogger Single and Picky said...

This is going to be long
Okay so dear let's discuss BMI. It is one of the many useful tools to determine where someone is at with their health and weight.
It is not the only tool, nor is always the most accurate tool. For example, most elite athletes will be overweight or obese if a BMI calculation is used regardless of their true body fat calculation.

BMI is determined based on a set body frame; there are different BMI scales for different frames (it is determined by elbow width). My point is it is not as big an indicator as you might be feeling it is.

I prefer to look body composition/health at it as dynamic structure.
Body Comp - where do you hold your fat. It does make a difference, if you or your family has a propensity for it to be around your middle that's a health concern. If you feel sluggish, sore, sad or any combination due to your body shape - that is personal sign of being less healthful. I don't mean sad as in I feel ugly, I feel sad I cannot wear those jeans. Sad as in I feel sad because I use to be able to walk up those stairs and now I cannot etc.
As to your activity level, you've been doing good consistent activity. This is a very good thing – build this – maybe running a half marathon isn’t your thing – consider a Zumba class or bootcamp, yoga, pilates, swimming etc.
Then make small consistent changes to your eating. Replace one of your favorite junk food items you like with a healthier alternative. Example, if you love sweet things – consider splurging on a fruit item instead. You like salty things like chips? There are baked versions but even better is unflavored popcorn or a really good high fibre cracker to which you add protein (lean cheese or peanut butter). Still portion what you’re switching. Start looking at labels closer. You might find that just because something is “low fat” or “light” or “multigrain” it might still have no nutritional value, have high sodium or not be that light. Email me if you want to talk about it – it’s myname@gmail.com

Bottom Line - Chin Up and Heart Open to the world.

Monday, July 18, 2011 11:26:00 am  
Anonymous Dominic said...

I'm going to disagree with SaP here, I'm afraid: The BMI isn't a useful tool, it's absolute junk with no more validity or use than palm reading.

It's just a number. Ignore it and buy yourself some nice chocolates :)

Monday, July 18, 2011 1:32:00 pm  
Blogger Single and Picky said...

I said that it is one of the many tools - in other words it is not the only determinant in anyone's health. But it can be a good guide line for many healthcare and fitness related professionals to us. It is not a method by which a persons health and wellness can solely be determined. However it does not mean it is invalid.

Monday, July 18, 2011 2:08:00 pm  
Blogger Chantal_Wannabe said...

You might find my answer boring but... One way to lose weight, feel better about yourself and eliminate cravings for junk food is to exercise on a very, very regular basis. I have read somewhere that n average woman should exercise at least one hour a DAY in order to keep her weight from going up after her early 20s (that's regardless of eating habits, genetics, etc though)

Even if you end up not losing weight but switching it from fat to muscle you will feel so much better.

I find that when I exercise a lot I am a lot hungrier, but that I also crave things that are GOOD for my body because I am in need of fuel and stuff that will make me feel good. thus I eat a lot of good stuff without feeling guilty.

You can get rid of junk food if you have the will !! You need to find your own motivation and everything is possible.

Exercising is so hard when you start a program but it's worth sticking to it because the effects will be felt in every aspect of your life.

Monday, July 18, 2011 2:27:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Sharron. I have days when it gets me down and days when it doesn't :/


Thanks SnP... read, digested and understood :) I like your high fibre cracker and high protein ideas. Thanks!


Oh, Dominic, I wish, but those nice chocolates are what's gotten me here in the first place ;)

Good points Chantal :)

Monday, July 18, 2011 7:26:00 pm  
Blogger The Ex Student said...

I myself lately have been noticing my pants are a bit tight and that I'm feeling a bit sluggish. I actually had a moment where I swore my scale was wrong...

But because I refuse to totally change my eating habits because I love my junk food and sugary coffee beverages way too much, I joined a running group.

A great way to get out and meet people, (including cute fit men who have actually have drive to show up every week) and you feel awesome at the end of it!

Running room, Frontrunners and Penninsula runners all have great running groups with awesome support! There's also Soul Sisters which is great if you aren't comfortable in a mixed gender group!

Spin class and salsa fit are also a lot of fun!

If you give up eating what you love and it makes you really depressed you won't want to get up and get moving...the key is to get up and get moving and eat whatever the hell you want :)

Monday, July 18, 2011 11:40:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

This is my third go around in a run clinic TES :)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011 11:11:00 am  
Blogger Kas said...

yet another train I've fallen off of.....

Tuesday, July 19, 2011 11:16:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Kas, I'm not going to let you get down on yourself here! You started the process and did great and then had a pause or little backslide and that's ok! You do the best you can at the moment and be easy on yourself when/if it's not as great. If you want to get back on it (like me) just...do it, little by little!!!! You can do it! :D

Tuesday, July 19, 2011 11:19:00 am  
Anonymous Rich Girl said...

Oh, I know what you are talking about! I have the same problem. I gained 40 pounds and I just can't lose them for 5 years already, mainly because food is my only happiness in my life. So sad, but I don't know what to do.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011 6:28:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

I hear ya

Wednesday, July 20, 2011 5:28:00 pm  
Blogger eleanore said...

My very boring response. We live in a world where we probably should think a lot more about what we eat, and how we treat our bodies. Our bodies were not made for mounds of processed and junk food. It sucks, but it's true. I bet you feel better when you're at your "fighting weight"...whatever that is. And feeling good (naturally), leads to other good things.

eleanore - The Spinsterlicious Life

Thursday, July 21, 2011 5:41:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Not a boring response, a good one :)

Thursday, July 21, 2011 8:00:00 pm  

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