Saturday, 10 September 2011

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

Tandem by foundimagination
I went for a walk last weekend with a friend of mine who's also on the online dating sites.

And he was telling me about his friend's experience meeting a guy who lied on his profile and said he was six years younger than he actually is.

My friend told me that he knows everyone lies about themselves online but that six years was too big of a lie.

Wait, I said, I don't lie about myself on my profile. I mean, what's the point in me saying I'm older or younger or taller or shorter than I actually am? I am this age, this weight, this height and if that's a problem for you, jog on (as they say on Geordie Shore, which I am so totally not admitting to watching but if you want really really really good bad tv? That's it right there.)

Well, yeah, he says, everyone does. Like, take me for instance. I put that I love to play sports, but the last time I picked up a tennis racket was probably a year ago. And I put that I like to go camping, but I don't own any camping gear anymore.

Hmmm, I said. I guess if you call that lying, then yes, maybe we all do it but I don't see it quite the same way.

I mean, it's true that you like camping, you just haven't actually gone in a while, does that make it a lie, or does that make it you talking about what you like to do?

Is it putting your best self forward or is it fabricating a version of yourself that doesn't actually exist?

I don't know, I think some things are pretty obvious lies. Your age, your marital status, the amount you drink/smoke/do drugs.

But I'm not sure if talking about your interests even if you're not actively involved in them 24/7 means you're lying.

So far, I guess I've been lucky in that I haven't had to deal with someone having lied to me that I met online. I'm not sure how I'd feel if I met a guy and he confessed to me that he was six years older than his profile suggested.

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable trusting him from that point on. And I'd wonder why he felt the need to adjust his age so significantly. (For the curious, this guy apparently said he'd changed his age because he was getting "too many" messages from women who were "too old". Hmmmmm...)

I guess people can lie to each other outside of the online dating world, but I wonder if it's more common in an arena where you can, essentially, be whoever you want, because there's no friend of a friend introducing you and vouching for you.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What if somebody lies about being into MMA?

Sunday, September 11, 2011 9:27:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...


Sunday, September 11, 2011 10:29:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Sunday, September 11, 2011 1:58:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...


Sunday, September 11, 2011 2:33:00 pm  
Blogger Solitary Diner (Also Known as The Frugalish Physician) said...

One of my friends met a guy online who said he was 20 years younger than he was. So creepy! And being from a smallish city, she still sees him around on occasion. My biggest case of "false advertising" when online dating was a guy who didn't mention that he stuttered - terribly. I couldn't even have a conversation with him because of his stutter.

Sunday, September 11, 2011 2:43:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...



(And I feel bad for the stuttering guy, awww)

Sunday, September 11, 2011 2:58:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Wait... TWENTY???

Sunday, September 11, 2011 2:58:00 pm  

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