Touch

This post has been sitting unwritten for months and months now. Today's as good a day as any to write it, I suppose.

One of the things I miss in my life as it is right now is touch.

And, right now, I'm not talking about sexual or sensual touch, that's a whole other post.

I'm what you might call a "touchy feely" person.

I love to hug and be hugged. I love to cuddle and lean against and make gentle physical contact with another person.

Now I don't get to do this in my job. Spies are only physical when they're doing super cool ninja moves on people, so my work, which makes up most of my day's activity, does not involve touch.

Sure, I have great friends at work who will occasionally give a hug, but that's minimal.

And outside of work, I live alone (yes, right now I'm living with my folks and yes, they've been subject to random cuddle attacks and hugs) and so it's not as if I go home and hug my husband or child or roommate.

I have some close friends who are huggy and a couple of friends who are as cuddly as I am, but I don't see them as much as I'd like and I know not everyone wants a hug every time you see them damnit!

But I miss being touched. I miss touch. Contact.

I remember being at a yoga class a couple of years ago (ahh, pre-accident yoga....sigh) and the woman leading the class came round at the end and just gently laid her hands on my feet and said some kind words to me. It struck me then, I couldn't remember the last time someone had touched me.

I used to volunteer at a place where they encouraged us to hug the people who came through the doors (always asking first of course) because "this might be the only time they get touched by another human being all week."

And we can't thrive without touch you know.

We don't do well without it.

It can be deathly important to an infant, but I'm not sure it's something even adults should live without.

I've found a small way to compensate. I have regular massages.

So every few weeks, I'm getting that physical contact.

But I still miss the loving touch I'd have in a relationship or that I have with some of my friends.

Bird and I may not have had a romantic relationship, but I know we both enjoyed having someone to hold and lie with and snuggle up against while watching a movie.

I miss that.

I miss touch.

It means a lot to me.