Friday, 18 November 2011

My Excellent Train Of Thought Got Derailed

I was out for a walk yesterday and I had the clearest statement in my head about why the blind date/online date meetup/meeting a stranger thing doesn't work for me.

But, of course, now that I'm sitting down to try to write it out, I can't remember what I had to say.

Because I know I've said before how it's not my thing and how it doesn't work with my personality, but yesterday I figured out how to put it so it made sense.

It was something along the lines of how a blind date/meeting type situation takes me out of my comfort zone/element and how therefore I won't be myself.

I was thinking, in part of my brilliant thought, that if I could just tell these guys to come meet me at my work, things might be different.

Except, of course, you can't invite people to come meet you when you're a spy. I mean, then they'd be a witness to you stealing the Hope Diamond and then you'd have to wipe their memory or send them to the witness protection program and these things aren't conducive to a second date.

I was lucky with Chad because even though it was a raw meeting, a blind meetup for sure, I was already out doing my thing and it just so happened we met up and I didn't have time to think about it.

My previous relationships have all started with me in a social situation and the guy being there and us hitting it off and deciding we wanted to see each other again.

Somehow, this doesn't happen for me in this online meeting situation.

Maybe it's because it's just the two of us and so there's too much focus. Maybe it's because we don't have that other "thing", the social gathering to talk about. Maybe it's because when you meet at a party, you don't really spend the next two hours together, uninterrupted just... talking.

At a party, or a friend's house, or whatever, you're there and you're hanging with your friends/buddies/co-workers and you chat with this guy and you like chatting with each other and then maybe you go off to pee or get another drink or tell your girlfriend how you just met this cute guy and then you come back and talk to each other again and it just... works.

Now I know those who have met their partner through online sites will tell me that for them it "just worked." But for me, other than Chad, it hasn't happened that way yet.

Maybe it will. Maybe if the right guy and I meet on a blind date/online meetup/whatever it is it will just work and be fine.

But I'm not completely sure about that.

And I had a really clear thought yesterday as to why.

I just wish I could remember what it was.

("Blind dates? Weird for me." is the note I left myself. It's not really helping. But there you go.)


Anonymous said...

I recently saw a couple at second cup on a first date, they met on a dating website (I was eavesdropping, maybe), and halfway through he actually TOUCHED her boob ("picked something off her sweater") and they were talking about their favourite movie, favourite food, etc...stupid stuff...the whole thing was just SO AWKWARD blah! I guess my point is, I agree..blind dates are weird.

Victoria said...

They're totally weird and awkward!

(And I giggled picturing what you saw, tee hee!)

Anonymous said...

Yeah especially because I was trying to write a paper...haha
Hey V have you ever thought of doing an online chat thing with all your blog-fans? I'd love to "meet" you!! I think you are super cool! :)
(i'm a girl)
(but if I were a guy I would ask you out)

Victoria said...


And, no, I hadn't thought of that. I'd probably come across as the biggest dork ever! ;)

Anonymous said...

Well you should keep it in the back of your mind! :)

Victoria said...


Jonathan said...

Did I ever tell you about the string of disasters I had in the run up to meeting Wendy ?

We both had disaster after disaster.

I guess we arrived at the same place you have - which was when we finally crashed into each other... (and even then, we went out with other people inbetween, and then finally went out for a drink together after yet another crash and burn with other people...)

Victoria said...

That's pretty cute and cool actually :)