The Bachelor is one of my "I know it's terrible but I'm going to watch it anyway because it's pure escapism" tv shows. (And yes, I've talked about it here before.)
What I've noticed this time around is that quite a number of the girls who get asked to leave (read: kicked off) ask themselves (via the camera that's meanly watching them cry at the moment of their rejection) "What did I do wrong?"
And I have totally asked myself that same question after a breakup; what did I do wrong, why doesn't he like me?
The interesting thing watching this show (and yes, I know it's all edited to heck) is that they didn't do anything wrong.
He just likes someone else in a more romantic way.
Sometimes the "feeling" is just not there. You don't have to have been a horrible person or have done anything wrong, the guy just isn't as interested in you romantically as he is in someone else.
And maybe that's part of what's horrible about the show (like train wreck can't look away kind of horrible.) As a (manipulated) viewer, you can see the girls this guy likes. You can see the two or three he gets all a flutter around and you can see the one he just wants to sleep with and so when he's sending someone home you see that it's not because she's unattractive or annoying or anything, it's just that he's gaga over someone else and the game of the show is that he has to keep some and let others go.
So over the past few weeks as I've watched the girls get sent home and cry in the limo asking what they did wrong, I've wanted to be able to transport them into the future so that they can see that they honestly didn't do anything wrong, it just wasn't in the cards for the two of them.
And this is why it's so easy to comment on relationships when you're not in them, but really. . .
They didn't do anything wrong.
He just, unfortunately, liked someone else more or in a different way and that's really really hurtful and really really sucks.
So ladies? What did you do wrong?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.