I decided/recognized this yesterday after yet another weird week of feeling....off about a lot of things.
It's one of those "times of transformation" sort of deals where there's a lot of figuring out of things that, while not exactly pain free, aren't necessarily bad things to figure out.
Things about me, I guess, and how I feel about me and things I do and don't do and maybe want to do or am afraid to do and how I feel about myself and other people and who other people are and show themselves to be and what it all means.
Caterpillar cocoon butterfly sort of thing except I'm not sure this is the struggle that takes me quite to butterfly yet. Or maybe it will be and I just won't know because there's still the drying of wings that has to happen when you break out of those suckers.
And plus, it's not like a butterfly's life is going to be nothing but air...to steal a sports metaphor.
So anyway, whatever it is that's going on is going on and ongoing and I'm just here trying to not avoid it too much. Or at all, if possible.
It's weird being me.
And happy St Paddy's Day while we're at it.
4 comments:
Hey,
I just found your blog by googling blogs by women who are single because I am sick of reading mommy blogs. I am 37, still single and have a lot of the same frustrations as you. You are brave to try the world of online dating. I have tried off and on and get disgusted with all the 55 and older men who email me. That is all who email me. Anyway. I love your blog. If we lived closer, we'd be friends. Ha.
Hi Katherine :) Thanks for saying hi, and yes, I often wonder what the men in their 50s and beyond are thinking on those sites!
*hugs*
Bleh. Going through stuff like this is so icky and difficult. I admire that you seem to be facing it pretty head on though. I have a bad habit of tucking stuff like this away. Keep it up. You're totally inspiring me! :) Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Candy :)
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