Thursday, 5 April 2012
Other than at work, when I'm totally in spy mode, I rarely feel completely at ease.
It's some combination of wanting to do what would make the most people comfortable while still being comfortable myself and wanting to just do whatever it is I want to do even when I don't know what it is I want to do.
Like, I really don't like meeting people somewhere. Our staff recently had a social event and I drove there with my closest co-worker friend and her husband and another co-worker and I was comfortable. But when we got there and I saw that some of our staff were already there and some hadn't arrived yet I felt awkward. Like...where do I sit?
And is it ok to not interact with everyone particularly? And does anyone notice that I'm sitting here by myself and I kind of don't mind but I also wish I wasn't by myself?
I genuinely don't know if everyone has some variation of these thoughts or if it's just some of us. I know I'm not alone in this sort of social awkwardness and you'd probably never know it to meet me, but still...
I guess I'm wondering if there are some people who feel comfortable and/or confident in pretty much any and all social situations.
Reddit has a meme (which I will forever call a "me me" thank you very much) called "SAP" which stands for Socially Awkward Penguin. People create these mini stories about a situation where they were awkward; kissed someone who was going for a hug or tripped down the stairs in class or whatever.
Are we all just at least a little bit of a socially awkward penguin at some point?