Thursday, 5 April 2012

Are You?

"At The Car Wash, Yeah!" by foundimagination
Are we all socially awkward to some degree or just some of us?

Other than at work, when I'm totally in spy mode, I rarely feel completely at ease.

It's some combination of wanting to do what would make the most people comfortable while still being comfortable myself and wanting to just do whatever it is I want to do even when I don't know what it is I want to do.

Like, I really don't like meeting people somewhere. Our staff recently had a social event and I drove there with my closest co-worker friend and her husband and another co-worker and I was comfortable. But when we got there and I saw that some of our staff were already there and some hadn't arrived yet I felt awkward. Like...where do I sit?

And is it ok to not interact with everyone particularly? And does anyone notice that I'm sitting here by myself and I kind of don't mind but I also wish I wasn't by myself?

I genuinely don't know if everyone has some variation of these thoughts or if it's just some of us. I know I'm not alone in this sort of social awkwardness and you'd probably never know it to meet me, but still...

I guess I'm wondering if there are some people who feel comfortable and/or confident in pretty much any and all social situations.

Reddit has a meme (which I will forever call a "me me" thank you very much) called "SAP" which stands for Socially Awkward Penguin. People create these mini stories about a situation where they were awkward; kissed someone who was going for a hug or tripped down the stairs in class or whatever.

Are we all just at least a little bit of a socially awkward penguin at some point?


Dominic said...

I love SAP! Haven't seen the reddit stories tho, just the pictures

There was a time when I worried about things like "I haven't talked to so-and-so yet" but I gave it up in favour of "They know where I am if they want me" - it simplifies things enormously :)

P.s. Am I the only person who saw that photo and thought "Albino Spiderman is watching you through the rain" ?

Anonymous said...

I am a socially akward penguin for sure. It is a huge struggle for me to do anything other than sit with the person (people) I came to a function with. It's such a struggle, I try and avoid such gatherings altogether.

Even playing hockey 4 or 5 times a week, I always sit in the same spot in the dressing room, rarely begin coversations, and usually try to sneak out without having to say "see ya next week". Odd, I know.

There are people who seem to be able to flutter around gatherings at ease. It doesn't bother my wife and our middle daughter (solidly in her teens) has no issue either.

So, I see there are people who can do this easier than others. I'm solidly in your's really, really hard for me.

- Elliott

Victoria said...

Fair enough Dominic, I could try that too I suppose.... they know where I am :) And, er, so far yes, you're the only one who sees it! ;)

That's ok Elliott, I try to avoid talking to people at the gym too! We're fine, just need other people to accept it sometimes right? :) *hugs*

Katherine said...

I am awkward 90 percent of the time. I also hate when you meet a friend for dinner and they go ahead and go in and get a table. i avoid parties and also dinners where there are a lot of people. I always end up sitting near people who aren't interesting and instead of trying to talk to them I just sit there and eat and look around.

Victoria said...

Ugh, I hate it when they go in ahead! PLEASE MEET ME OUTSIDE! ;)

Nithya said...

YES!! I sure am a socially awkward penguin.

I feel awkward when I am around people way older than me. The ones I have interacted with come across as a little too wise.

I feel awkward when people start talking about food menus and other stuffs in the middle of a professional meeting, just to be friendly. And I paint a smile on my face just to show them that I am okay with where the conversation is going.

I feel awkward around super-rich people!!

Victoria said...

I've never been around a super rich person Nithya, so you're one up on me! :)

Anonymous said...

This is a great blog post. I think everyone is a little socially awkward. I think some people are just better at hiding it than others. For me - I am a lawyer and I often have to attend professional events with people I don't know. I often don't know what to say and so I find someone who looks friendly and attempt to strike up a conversation. Unfortunately, this never turns out like I had planned, which makes me feel embarrassed for having struck up the conversation in the first place. But I try as best I can - I suppose that's all we socially awkward people can do.

Victoria said...

I totally agree! And I can completely, 100% imagine and understand what you're saying in your comment, I'm cringing right along with you! :)