Tuesday, 15 May 2012


Caught The Sun by foundimagination
I'm a little bit dizzy, trying to remember to breathe, stuck, as I am, in the middle of the latest of a series of shitty lessons life has thrown at me this year.

(Or maybe it's just a repeating of the same lesson over and over with slight variations just to make sure I get it.)

So much has been hard learned this year, and by year, I'm counting from the time they took my Dad into the O.R. and cracked open his chest...

The best moments I had this weekend were walking home from the gym. I remember feeling strong and powerful and wondering how anyone could possibly resist my awesomeness, and I'm glad I had those moments to counteract the crying and the times of sitting there trying to figure out what, exactly, I'm supposed to do now.

I know this post doesn't entirely make sense, or maybe doesn't make sense even in the slightest, but I wanted to write something, didn't want to leave a blank page.

Things aren't good right now. Things are tough. I'm struggling, but I'm coping. If that makes sense.

It got warm this weekend too. Which was weird. Going from frost overnight to getting out the fans and throwing open all the windows in less than a week.

And I'm not enjoying "Childhood's End", which is disappointing, since it came so highly recommended.

Hang on, forgot to breathe again.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry that you're struggling right now. I just came out of an almost 3 month slump where it looked like nothing was ever going to get better. But it has. And it will for you too.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012 8:35:00 am  
Blogger liv said...

Hi there, I've been following your posts every other day for a few months now and although I have noticed a down phase recently, they are never dull.
Hang in there one day you'll look back and know why you had to overcome all this.
Yeah disapointment from rejection whether from real or fantasized hopes is always a bummer. I think we've all been there at some point. Just pat yourself on the back for trying to put yourself out there.
Oh and great self advice : keep breathing

Tuesday, May 15, 2012 4:02:00 pm  
Blogger Candy Cakes said...

I do that too. In fact I am right now. It stinks. Hang in. Thanks for reminding ME to breath anyway...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012 5:46:00 pm  
Blogger Victoria said...

Thanks Anon...

Thanks Liv, very true.

Stinky stinkers Candy.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012 7:11:00 pm  
Blogger Happydog said...

Ahh life...Nothing to do but breath and live the life in front of you. And no one says you have to finish "Childhoods End" life is too short...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012 11:06:00 pm  
Blogger Just Sayin... said...

I understand this completely.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012 8:21:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Yeah, I gave up on it HD, which is rare for me, I usually stick right to the end of books!

Thanks JS...hugs.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012 4:05:00 pm  

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