There really is no such thing as "normal." There's just a general understanding of how someone should be and that understanding changes from family to family and from culture to culture from society to society.
So while it might be normal to feel and discuss and share and cry and laugh somewhere like, I don't know, maybe the stereotypical Italy we see in movies, I wasn't raised in a family/time/place/society where that was particularly accepted.
I've spent a lot of my life trying to be more like how I thought I was supposed to be. Or trying to change myself to fit what others were comfortable with or happy with or even trying to be who they were. And it's been hard.
I wandered around downtown this weekend with a good friend of mine who I don't get to see often as I'd like. We sat and caught up for a while, people watching, and ended up talking about the similar struggles we were going through, and in particular, the stress surrounding certain aspects of our personalities that we both find aren't understood by most people.
I told her about a rough time I'd gone through last week and she mentioned how she will often feel similarly and how she sometimes just says to people "look, I'm a highly sensitive person and I need some time to process this," and removes herself from the situation.
And you know how sometimes someone says just the right thing to tip the scale of your mind fully into understanding? Well, that did it.
What she said clicked with things I've been reading and wondering and know about myself and trying to figure out about myself and I realized that instead of trying to meet some random "normal" that I feel everyone but me must understand and be part of, there are actually a lot of people feeling and thinking and reacting the same way as I do. And somehow that makes me feel more normal, knowing that my difference is a common one.
So I have some reading to do, and so far a lot of what's been written seems to fit and make sense and it's a relief. Because while I may not fit in to what's normal with the people and even the society around me? It sounds like there are a lot of other people out there who think and feel and react the same way that I do, and that makes me feel like I'm not insane or wrong or weird.
It actually makes me feel normal.
6 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. There is this friend of mine that I don't usually see in the summer, but in some ways we relate so well on things others just wouldn't understand. Besides, no one is normal. People all have one glitch.
Please run (don't walk) to the bookstore and buy the book "The Highly Sensitive Person" and "The Highly Sensitive Person in Love". These books had me in tears because I finally felt understood and that someone (the author) understood ME! :) I have a strong feeling you will get as much out of them as I did!!!!
On normality
It was an article on introverts that I found most helpful - This isn't it, but it's the closest I can find with a quick google around.
I love friendships like that EAS :) And, yes, we're all... un-normalish! :)
Janee, they're on their way from Amazon as we speak! :D (I cried while reading the first few pages online and figure I'd better buy them) I'm glad you liked them and hope I will too!!!!
Love the cartoon Dominic! So cute and true! And, I've heard a lot about a book called "Quiet" about the power and strength of introverts :)
I thought I was always a socially awkward person and used to be called "ice queen" at school - being the totally opposite inside and hyper sensitive, this hurt me greatly.
It wasn't until my boss asked me to do a Meyers-Briggs quiz and Voila! It all made sense! I'm not socailly awkward but just introverted and a very feeling person - it made my change the whole way I thought about myself (such a relief!)
This is a good link http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm
Thank goodness for your boss, eh!
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