Anxiety

I don't really know what the difference is between anxiety and worry or if they're just different sides of the same coin or what, but I know I'm predisposed to them both.  Or to it.

And once the anxiety/worry -ness is triggered, it sometimes just seems to hover.

And right now it's hovering.

Mainly in the evenings, I notice, probably because I'm home, and there's a bit less to think about.  But even at work right now, I'm wandering around feeling like I'm forgetting something.  That elusive something that must be what I'm feeling worried about, because why else would I be feeling this way.

I've learned how to cope with this feeling, strategies and things that help me feel calmer or point out that it's really just one thing that I'm worried about and all the other things are just freeloading on that one thing.

But still.  Just like when I'm sad about something, when this anxiety/worry feeling kicks in, it's hard to remember that I won't always feel like this.  That I haven't always felt like this.  Because when I'm in this kind of a difficult feeling, it feels permanent.

Which makes me worry.

Add, rinse and repeat.

So it's been hard, this past little while (is it days or is it weeks, it's hard to know.)  But I'm trying to sort through and remind myself that, yes, there is one big thing that's triggering all this, but it doesn't mean I have to live in this state until that thing is done.

I hope.