Thursday, 4 October 2012

From Fear

I think sometimes, maybe more than sometimes, when we're scared, it comes across as anger.

I say this because last night, I was woken up by an angry conversation outside my window.

Or at least, I was woken up by half of it.

The gentleman in question was angry.  Angry with his girl friend (girlfriend?) that she had called him, feeling suicidal and then turned off her phone saying she was going to "take care of herself."

It's not something you joke about, he said.  You said you were feeling suicidal and then you turned off your phone, what else was I supposed to think?

He said it over and over.  Angrily.

What was I supposed to think?  I drove all the way over here, what else was I supposed to do?

I couldn't hear what she was saying, but part of me wanted to shout at him to just hug her, and part of me wanted to shout at her for turning off her phone after saying something like that.

They moved away after a few minutes and I could hear crying.  Her, I suppose, and I truly hope there was some release in that and that she's feeling better.

It's hard when you're feeling low, it really is.  And it's hard when you care for someone and they tell you they're feeling that low.  Because what else do you do, but worry, and try to help?

And you don't want to be wrong.  You don't want to tell them not to cry wolf, because if they're not?

I hope that no one ever uses the idea of being suicidal as a way to manipulate someone else, and I hope that friends and loved ones know that if someone you care about tells you they're feeling that way, it's not up to you to fix them or help them, there are professionals who can help you and support you in helping your friend.

I hope the two of them are ok, and I hope that the girl reached out and got the love and support she needs.  And I hope, in time, she'll hear the anger in his voice as the fear he must have had at the situation, and that she'll realize he went to her when she needed it.

When I woke up this morning, this was in my head.

Rick Astley - Cry For Help 

I think I need a hug.


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