Begging Your Pardon

I'm sorry, but that was a pretty shit week.

I gave Jay his space, and was fine with it for the first few days, but then started to feel unhappy about it but still wanted to give him his space so didn't say anything about it, even though he was sending me a short email most mornings.

It was, hard, I'll be honest, but what I realized this weekend was that what was hard about it was not being able to communicate with him, honestly and openly.

See, since we first started talking, I've emailed him every day.  Sometimes, well, most times, more than once a day. Sometimes big thoughts, sometimes small, sometimes in between.  And, like you know, if you read here regularly, I often sort through things in my head by writing about them, often not really understanding what I need or am feeling until I've typed it out.

So to not do that for a week, I think it's like I got all, bunged up, emotionally speaking.

Which, added to a super hard work week, did not make for a happy camper by the end of the week.

Jay and I did manage to find some time to chat this weekend, and we hashed through a lot of things and I think that'll have to be another blog post, another time because right now I'm just feeling like I'm still getting over the crap week that just was.

That was seriously emotionally draining, to be cut off from expressing myself.  Which, I guess is something important for me to have learned.

And yet another reason it's good that I have this blog.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah I hope I made sense.  I feel... like I'm coming down from a really weird trip.

Bad week.

Glad it's over.

The End.