Thursday, 28 February 2013
Everything's been fine.
He's come over to have a chat now and then, to give himself a break from work. It's helped, most times, for me to have someone else to bounce my insecurites off of, and I felt that we were on a decent page with regards to, yes... we're just hanging out, end of discussion.
Except. (Don't you just always expect an "except" with this guy now? Sigh.) Except this weekend when I was at my craziest, and he had some thoughts about it which didn't really help, but then I talked to Jay and ended up feeling better about it anyway, Vince texted that I should maybe practice cuddling in preparation for Jay coming back.
And all I could think was "sigh."
Because, no. I can't cuddle with Vince. His wife doesn't even know we hang out.
And I wouldn't feel comfortable cuddling him anyway.
I used to love cuddling with Bird, was one of my favourite things, really, but even though I might have wanted more, there was no wife involved, and we hadn't ever been a couple so it wasn't complicated.
With Vince it would be.
And I feel like he'd be using cuddling as a gateway drug.
I guess it just kind of disappointed me.
I thought we'd been through all this and were just hanging out completely platonically.
And, sure, I have friends I cuddle with platonically.
Exes generally aren't in that category.
But maybe that's just me.