Thursday, 28 February 2013

Well...

Today Was Not A Good Day by foundimagination
I suppose you want a Vince update, don't you?

Sigh.

Everything's been fine.

He's come over to have a chat now and then, to give himself a break from work.  It's helped, most times, for me to have someone else to bounce my insecurites off of, and I felt that we were on a decent page with regards to, yes... we're just hanging out, end of discussion.

Except.  (Don't you just always expect an "except" with this guy now?  Sigh.)  Except this weekend when I was at my craziest, and he had some thoughts about it which didn't really help, but then I talked to Jay and ended up feeling better about it anyway, Vince texted that I should maybe practice cuddling in preparation for Jay coming back.

And all I could think was "sigh."

Because, no.  I can't cuddle with Vince.  His wife doesn't even know we hang out.

And I wouldn't feel comfortable cuddling him anyway.

I used to love cuddling with Bird, was one of my favourite things, really, but even though I might have wanted more, there was no wife involved, and we hadn't ever been a couple so it wasn't complicated.

With Vince it would be.

And I feel like he'd be using cuddling as a gateway drug.

I guess it just kind of disappointed me.

I thought we'd been through all this and were just hanging out completely platonically.

And, sure, I have friends I cuddle with platonically.

Exes generally aren't in that category.

But maybe that's just me.

Le sigh.

3 Comments:

Blogger Happydog said...

Yep...trust your instincts on this one. "Gateway drug" good one!

Thursday, February 28, 2013 8:31:00 am  
Anonymous Jonathan said...

He wants to have his cake and eat it.

Thursday, February 28, 2013 10:44:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

I am HD! (trusting my instincts that is) ;)

That's totally what I thought too Jonathan!

Thursday, February 28, 2013 7:37:00 pm  

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