Thursday, 28 February 2013


Today Was Not A Good Day by foundimagination
I suppose you want a Vince update, don't you?


Everything's been fine.

He's come over to have a chat now and then, to give himself a break from work.  It's helped, most times, for me to have someone else to bounce my insecurites off of, and I felt that we were on a decent page with regards to, yes... we're just hanging out, end of discussion.

Except.  (Don't you just always expect an "except" with this guy now?  Sigh.)  Except this weekend when I was at my craziest, and he had some thoughts about it which didn't really help, but then I talked to Jay and ended up feeling better about it anyway, Vince texted that I should maybe practice cuddling in preparation for Jay coming back.

And all I could think was "sigh."

Because, no.  I can't cuddle with Vince.  His wife doesn't even know we hang out.

And I wouldn't feel comfortable cuddling him anyway.

I used to love cuddling with Bird, was one of my favourite things, really, but even though I might have wanted more, there was no wife involved, and we hadn't ever been a couple so it wasn't complicated.

With Vince it would be.

And I feel like he'd be using cuddling as a gateway drug.

I guess it just kind of disappointed me.

I thought we'd been through all this and were just hanging out completely platonically.

And, sure, I have friends I cuddle with platonically.

Exes generally aren't in that category.

But maybe that's just me.

Le sigh.


Happydog said... your instincts on this one. "Gateway drug" good one!

Jonathan said...

He wants to have his cake and eat it.

Victoria said...

I am HD! (trusting my instincts that is) ;)

That's totally what I thought too Jonathan!