Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Time

Oranges and Lemons by foundimagination
I don't remember how many weeks ago (one?  three?) but Jay and I were discussing his work projects and when he might be returning back here.

He'd initially thought one date, and I got excited for that, and started counting down the days, and when I told him about my countdown calendar, he gingerly told me that it was looking like it might actually be two weeks later than that.

I was totally bummed.

Like, I just wanted to sit and cry, I had been so looking forward to our meeting, and now here it was, probably to be delayed... again.

Jay's flying to see his family in Ontario at the start of April, and so I resigned myself to the fact that he'd get back into town at the later date, be too jetlagged to meet, and have to fly out the next day, and so we wouldn't really get to meet for another entire month.

I was disappointed to say the least.

A few days after, though, he told me that it looked like things might not be the longer date, but that he wasn't sure yet.

I didn't let myself get excited.

I think somehow, having resigned myself to, well, there's nothing I can do about it either way, I just marked off two days on my calendar as "Jay might be home?" days and started counting down to the furthest away date.

I'm still not quite ready to let myself trust it, seeing as we all know how work projects can suddenly change or need re working or etc. etc. but it's maybe kind of sort of starting to look like he might be here... not too long from now at all.

Time is weird.

When we first started talking, it was a random amount of time until we could meet, and so it didn't matter quite so much.

And the closer it got to when he might return, the slower and further away it all seemed.

February? 

Longest month ever.

March so far?

SO SUPER FAST!

And now that I can maybe almost count the days until we meet on my fingers?  It seems like it's almost too close.

Which is why I try to just distract myself, while secretly still counting down the days.

And, now I think I shall sing me some Steve Miller Band.  Later skaters.

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