Saturday, 13 April 2013

Unexpectedly

Something Jay and I weren't expecting was that we'd lose our two main forms of communication while he was away.

I remember when he arrived at the airport in Ontario and he called and said, well, I guess we'll just go back to messaging like we used to!  And I smiled and sighed a happy sigh.

However...where Jay is staying, they don't have internet (GASP!  I know!  Wait, who just fainted?  Are you ok?) and so we weren't able to chat at all and the data plan on his phone is limited as well so we've really only exchanged a short email here or there.

We've texted each other, sure, but that was never how we talked, and plus, I don't want to be constantly interrupting his family time and his time with his friends with a text.  Hi!  How are you!  What are you doing?  It's sunny here!  I wish you were here!  I just ate toast!

So I've been limiting myself... and it's felt kind of... blah.

I used to sneak to my computer at work and send him an email or maybe even manage a chat at lunch, and so the first day he was away, I sat at my desk and sent him an email saying, you're not there to talk to or email... what do I do with myself?  (And then I told him to not answer with "work" because, boooo!)

He's called a few times, which has been really really nice, but time change and late nights on his end and all the rest and, well, I've had a really hard time missing him.

We communicated every day while we were getting to know each other.  And, yes, we're still talking every day, but texting is far from an email or a chat or a video call.

I've felt very pouty about it.

But also like there has been a little bit of distance growing.  To have gone from months of constant contact, to actually being together, like... right there together, to being so far apart with such limited contact and communication has just made me feel... distant.  Not a lot, but enough that I've noticed it, certainly these past few days.

And it feels like it's been forever.

He's gone FOREVER.  Who knew two weeks could be this long?

C-Dawg chuckled when I said it was sad to go to my empty bed.

"Ahhhh, yes, she said.  I remember those days... Now when (enter her sweetie's name here) goes away I'm just excited about how much bed space there is!"

I don't care if I'm in the darn Honeymoon phase, I miss him, I wish he was here, I miss talking to him, and communicating with him more than just this and I'll pout about it until he gets back.

Which is, by the way, FOREVER away!

Sigh.

This has been unexpectedly difficult, and I'm feeling a little blue about it.

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