Thoughts

Sometimes I feel like I have it all figured out.

Most often when Jay and I have spent the morning curled up in bed together, quiet and relaxed, or the evening wrapped up in each other's arms after a fun day or fun afternoon.

I wish I could feel it and believe it when he tells me he loves me but that's gotta be a deeper issue than just what's happening right now, something I need to figure out and fix, for reals, for ever.

Sometimes I feel like things would all be a lot easier and better (maybe?) if money wasn't an issue.  If I could just have whatever it was that I wanted, or needed, or dreamed of.

And sometimes I find out that an old friend's three year old has been diagnosed with cancer and I don't know how I'm supposed to be anything other than grateful for everything I do have, and for the breath I can take right at this moment.