Monday, 10 June 2013
This is going to have to be day by day. One day at a time.
Because my mind wants to run down the road of bundling up everything into the future and how bad it might get or how difficult or sad or how it isn't going to be ok. And that's not fair.
It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to my psyche.
So I have to, in those moments when I feel my mind trying to pull me into how this is all going to end badly and be a miserable time, just stop it, I have to not let it run away with that.
I have to pull myself back into, hey, I'm just here, right now, that's all that's real, the end.
And I just will have to keep doing that as many times as it takes, over and over. Because if not, I start thinking about whether or not we'll see each other this weekend, and then I think about how probably not and then I wonder about why not and then I wonder when we might see each other ever again and it just snowballs and spirals from there and it's never good. Ever.
So I just have to be just in today.