Monday, 10 June 2013

And Repeat

So Very by foundimagination
In the light of what's gone on in the last few days, this post actually doesn't make as much sense.  I wrote it last week just after Jay had left, and had it ready to be published today, as I thought I might be busy this weekend.  So I'm letting it stand, as the thoughts I had were valid at the time I wrote them.


This is going to have to be day by day.  One day at a time.

Because my mind wants to run down the road of bundling up everything into the future and how bad it might get or how difficult or sad or how it isn't going to be ok.  And that's not fair.

It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to my psyche.

So I have to, in those moments when I feel my mind trying to pull me into how this is all going to end badly and be a miserable time, just stop it, I have to not let it run away with that.

I have to pull myself back into, hey, I'm just here, right now, that's all that's real, the end.

And I just will have to keep doing that as many times as it takes, over and over.  Because if not, I start thinking about whether or not we'll see each other this weekend, and then I think about how probably not and then I wonder about why not and then I wonder when we might see each other ever again and it just snowballs and spirals from there and it's never good.  Ever.

So I just have to be just in today.

Only.

4 Comments:

Blogger Sabrina Marie said...

Tough moments.. do you have good friends around to talk out your jumbled sad confused thoughts? Getting it out helps immensely for me.. if only to verbalize it and then get perspective from that & the friends input.

Monday, June 10, 2013 11:12:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

I do Sabrina...

Monday, June 10, 2013 4:27:00 pm  
Blogger Sabrina Marie said...

Good makes life all that much sweeter :)

Tuesday, June 11, 2013 6:21:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

True

Tuesday, June 11, 2013 4:31:00 pm  

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