Friday, 28 June 2013

It Should Have Ended With Love

Pacific Northwest by foundimagination
I'm sorry, I know I seem stuck on this, but I didn't think things with Jay would end like this.

I mean, there were points where maybe I didn't think it would end well.... I remember telling him that if we split up, I wouldn't still be his friend.  But that was early days, and when we got to where we were by the end of May, there was just so much love between us I couldn't see it ending badly.

I wasn't sure the long distance thing would work out, or that we'd (he...really) be able to maintain it, but I thought, at worst, we'd have a sad split, and would stay in each other's lives.  Sharing, talking, keeping up.  Maybe even seeing each other.  Having a weekend together that I'd then regret because it would hurt too much and I'd cry too much.

I never expected this.  That seems to be making it hurt worse somehow.

I guess because the love we shared suddenly doesn't seem to matter to him.

Which makes it seem like maybe it never did.

Which makes me sad.  Because it mattered to me.  And I felt it.  And meant it.  And I know we shared it in moments.

I miss us.


Just Sayin... said...

This entry makes me mad. I hate when the moment comes that you realize his feelings or love, wasn't what he said it was.

DO people not have morals anymore? Do not care how they treat others, or that our feelings, and hearts are something to be played with for sport. And that we're not capable of being hurt?

I'm sad for you. Sending love!

Victoria said...


Thanks for the love.