Monday, 24 June 2013


I was pretty blue this weekend.
Not sure why, particularly... could be the exhaustingly busy work week.  Could be a sugar crash.  Could be I just felt blue.  But I was really missing Jay being here.

I suppose, really, I'm missing having someone I love living with me.

Missing having quiet time together, or doing something fun together (even though I did fun things with other people, it's still not the same as being with a partner, at least for me) and most especially, being close and cuddling.  Holding and being held.  Hugging.

I'm missing that a lot.

I would be missing it no matter who it was.  Jay just happens to be the one who was just here.  Just over three weeks ago since we last woke up in bed together, happy and quiet and loving.  And sad that he was leaving.

One of my friends asked me if we were still talking, as friends, and it hurt to have to say no.

I always figured that if Jay and I split up we'd still talk, still be in communication, but I haven't heard from him, which also makes me sad.

He'd always talked so much about how he's still close with his exes, still loves them, talks to them, etc., etc.  Guess I didn't make it into that group somehow.

Or maybe he's just too busy being busy and happy in Vancouver to think about anything other than himself.

No point in hashing it out, really.

Just wish there was someone here, with me, to love and hug and hold and share with.  I really really do.


Matt79 said...

Sending another stranger-across-the-world hug. But I know that's no kind of substitute at all. Times like these just suck. Hopefully after a while they gradually suck less.

The Little Black Dog said...

Yeah I am a creature of companionship too - Yes I CAN be on my own, but I prefer to be with a companion/in a relationship. I wish I had the perfect words, or anywhere even close to good words. Stay strong, be kind to yourself.

Victoria said...

True enough Matt. Here's to things sucking less soon...

Thanks Sanibel Gal...