She was floored, but was in a pretty tough, I'm going to get through this mode. I felt pretty helpless, and I called up her parents to ask if they knew of anything I could do to help.
They said they'd let me know, and then her Mom took the phone into the other room to speak with me privately.
"Don't say anything bad about him," she cautioned. "They split up once before, years ago, and then got back together and she had a hard time with the things people said against him, so don't do it."
So I didn't.
And, after a while, and a lot of counselling, they did get back together. Gave it another try. She really wanted it to work.
But it didn't. And now they're fully, completely split. Forever.
But that's not the point.
The point is, that I get it.
I get why you want to believe in the relationship you had. That you want to believe in the best that person had to offer because you'd seen it, witnessed it, lived with it and knew it was in there somewhere.
I get that you want to hold on to all the great times you had together, and put aside the not so great ones as "just life".
I get trying to make it work.
And I get how hard it is to do that when you feel embarrassed to be trying again with this person who's treated you poorly. Because that's what everyone sees and remembers and wonders about.
Why are you giving them a second chance?
Because you love them.