Friday, 30 August 2013

Oh

I forgot to mention it in yesterday's post, but then when I went back to add it, I realized it was sort of an entirely separate topic.

One of the conversations I had with this guy at the pub date was the whole "what are you looking for" kind of thing.

I often forget, when I ask people "big" questions, that they will most likely turn right back around and ask me the same.

So when he did just that, and asked me what *I* was looking for, I found myself at a loss for words.

I guess I just wasn't prepared to answer, and it made me realize that it's a pretty big question to just spring on someone, and maybe it wasn't fair that I'd done so.

I asked him what he meant.  Did he mean in a partner?  In life?  In a relationship?

He said, he guessed he meant in a partner, and I took a breath and was surprised what came out of my mouth.

The first thing I said, without even thinking about it, was that I was looking for someone who made me feel safe and comfortable.

I wonder if it's because those were two things I was very much not feeling with him at that time in that moment, or if it's because that's a lot of what I felt when I was with Jay.  I always felt safe with him, and comfortable.  Which leads to feeling happy and relaxed.

I had a few other things I said, most of which have slipped my mind.

He joked, while rolling his eyes somewhat, a (nervous?) thing he seems to do a fair bit, that my list was long, so I stopped.  Even though I had more to say.

But, someone who made me feel "safe" and "comfortable" as the top two things I'm looking for in a relationship, in a partner.  That's what came out of my mouth.
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