Friday, 27 September 2013

Way Back

Lost Direction by foundimagination
Way back when the Breaking Bad season premiere started, the guy I was sort of starting to see asked me if I wanted to come over and watch the show with him.

It was the day after the premiere and I was relieved that I didn't have to lie, that I could honestly tell him I'd just watched it, but I hoped he'd enjoy, and thanks for the invite.

I'm so not in the place to be at a guy's house, this guy's house.  And I think it was maybe bold of him to ask?

Or maybe it wasn't that big of a deal.

I just think when you're in someone's house, their space, and you're sitting on their couch, near them, or next to them, things are assumed.  And if you like each other, things happen.  Hand holding, a kiss, a cuddle.  Things.

And I was really not wanting to go there.

We hadn't even held hands yet.  Being at his place seemed like a lot.

As I mentioned (somewhere) that once I was at Burning Man, I knew I didn't want to keep seeing him, in a romantic way, or possibly at all, really.  And that then, when I was out I saw him smoking and that seemed like an easy way out.  That I could tell him I didn't date smokers.

Oh, and then Connor and I ran into him out shopping that next weekend.  Or whenever that was.

I haven't heard from him since.  I wonder if he saw me with Connor and (wrongly) assumed I was on a date with a new guy.  Or if he just assumed that when I'd turned down his offer for a walk (saying, quite honestly at the time) that I was overwhelmed with being back at work, maybe soon, and then saw me out with Connor, that I just didn't want to see him?

Whatever the case, I haven't had to have that awkward conversation with him yet because he hasn't asked me out again.

He may still, and I'll have to find a way to explain that I'm not interested romantically, and I'm not sure what's best to say.  You smoke?  I don't feel a connection?  This just isn't a romantic thing?

Gah. 

No wonder people just prefer to randomly stop talking to people they're just kind of casually dating.  It sucks having to say you don't want to see them in that way anymore.

2 Comments:

Anonymous kandijay said...

This is going to come across as negative, but I don't mean it that way. I actually think it's kind of funny: Doesn't it seem like everything about dating is kind of awkward? :)

Monday, September 30, 2013 6:52:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

It does!!!! ;)

Monday, September 30, 2013 4:32:00 pm  

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