Wednesday, 30 October 2013

A Month

I'm not really out of the funk I fell into this month, but I'm not at the bottom of it any more.  Just... still in it.

As my friend pointed out, a lot of it is work related, and while I do my best to not bring work up here, I may have to talk about it a bit... maybe.

This whole month, I've been working on making positive changes.

I'm twenty something days into my 365 Project with my friend, and I'm enjoying drawing every day.  Maybe I have some natural talent.  But I also have some training and it's coming back.  I'm remembering things, techniques and whatnot.  And I'm also enjoying some of the results.  Some of the things I've drawn (or painted) I like.  And I guess I'd say I'm proud of them.  Happy, for sure.  And that's a nice feeling.

I've found some moments where I'll be shading or just not thinking too much about what I'm drawing and it's like time does a weird suspension kind of thing.  Not sure if it slows down or if I just don't notice it passing.  Zone out kind of.

It's cool, because I never got rid of my art supplies.  I've still got all my pencils, and paintbrushes and colours.  And now that I'm not a starving student anymore, I've made a couple of trips to the art supply store and supplemented my collection.

A cool new eraser here, a replacement for that particular pencil there.

I remember learning that once a pencil lead had shattered, usually because it was dropped, it would just keep breaking whenever you sharpened it.  And this one particular pencil just kept breaking.

So I went and bought a replacement.

Which I then accidentally dropped as I took it out of the paper bag when I got home.


Maybe it's fine, but I'm thinking it might be another trip's worth soon.

So there's been that... the "draw something every day."  And there's been me trying harder with my exercise.

Trying the 30 Day Shred video.  Doing a mini-workout at lunch at work on days when I can.  And feeling fitter and stronger, even if the scale isn't changing and the flab is still there.

Like I said before, I wish the changes were instant and overnight.  I wish I did twenty situps and suddenly there was no overflow on top of my belt.

If only it were as easy to lose weight and tone and tighten as it is to put weight on and lose fitness.


I'm also starting a new eating plan this week.

I hate to call it a diet because that conjures up images I'm not supportive of.

I went back to my dietician/nutritionist and talked about feeling addicted to sugar and feeling like certain things, like sugar, made me feel puffy and unwell, and she made me a meal plan that's "low FODMAP" which makes me think of "BEDMAS" (do you remember that from Elementary school?) and I also had her tell me that I'm not to have any sweet treats or sugar for the next month.

I'll still have fruit and... well, fruit is sweet and I'm sure I'll love it, but last week I ate all my favourite treats... like a kind of goodbye.

I've been pretty much low gluten, but the next four weeks will also be back to no gluten.  And a few other things.  I think the idea is that my digestive system gets a break from foods that might be bothering it, and then once it's rested, we maybe try a few more things back and see how I do with them.

Like gum.  Which has a sweetener in it that can bother digestion.

(I managed to find sweetener free, natural gum though.  So... yay for being able to still chew on the drive to work if I want to.  I'm a creature of habit you see.)

So that's starting this week, and wouldn't have happened if I hadn't gotten to that low of "Man, I hate how I look and feel about my body right now."

Maybe I can go back to Burning Man with the same body but stronger.  Feeling more proud of it, maybe.  Healthier.  Fitter.  And... I don't know.  Maybe I'll still feel unattractive there.  Who knows.  Or maybe I won't.


Also, I had no idea that going up in increments of one pound hand weights could feel SO MUCH HEAVIER.

But, yeah.  Two pound weights are frigging heavy compared to one pound weights when you're doing what Jillian tells you to do.



Anonymous kandijay said...

Well, of course it was heavier. You DOUBLED the weight you were holding! :)

Good for you for being so proactive! Keep it up!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013 8:06:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

I know, but it just didn't seem like it should be so much heavier! lol ;)

Wednesday, October 30, 2013 4:36:00 pm  

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