Monday, 25 November 2013

Inside

Holding by foundimagination
It's interesting (in retrospect) to see the things my worry-brain gets focussed on.

For example, C-Dawg and I travelled down to the States for the last (hurrah!) of our dealings with people and whatnot from the whackadoo car accident we were in a few years ago.

I was a little nervous about the process and/or what the results might be, but the thing that was really getting to me?

The fact that we would have to wake up at six on the day we were leaving to get to the transportation terminal in time.

Like, really.  I was so worried about it.  SO EARLY!  In the morning!  It's going to be awful!!!!!

It wasn't.  It was fine.  I was awake before even the alarm went off, and I was there with my awesome friend so even though it was an earlier morning, I had a friend there.

And, really, it's not a lot earlier than I get up for work anyway.

And I didn't get great sleep there so it was almost a relief to be getting up.

Now I don't even know why my brain was so fixatedly worried about having to get up that early but I was convinced it would be nasty.

And it wasn't.

It was fine.

Which frustrates me a little because when I'm IN the worry, I can't see logically out of it or through it.  I just believe it.

Like when I'm nervous to meet a new person from a dating site, say.  All I know is that I'm nervous and think that it will be uncomfortable and that it won't necessarily end in a positive way even though I know it will most likely be OK.  That, yes, it can be somewhat awkward or tiring, but that I've also had some really nice times meeting people and when I met Jay, and what's his name (Chad), it went well and ended well.  (If at least for a while...or long while.)

Sigh.

I just don't know how to get out of the worry when I'm in in in it.  You know?

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