Saturday 28 December 2013

Blah

I am really missing being with someone.

(Notice that I didn't say I miss Jay, because I realize that he's just a place holder for being in a relationship, so it's not that I miss him so much as I miss the things he represented.)

I know this time of year is always hard for me in that way but I'm especially feeling it right now.

I can't remember how I felt last year, maybe I wrote about it and can check, but blah... I just feel sad and wish I had someone paying me attention and that sort of interesting stuff going on rather than... not so much.

I don't even know, exactly, or maybe I do and just don't know quite how to say it.

I'm extra not liking being single right now, and I wish it was Spring.

4 comments:

kandijay said...

"He's just a placeholder for being in a relationship..."

Ain't that the truth! New Year's always hits me the hardest, and last night I dreamed of my ex. I was mad when I woke up, because why did HE have to be in such a lovely dream? Because he was the last person to take up that space in my heart, so until there is someone else, there are still remnants of him there. Blah.

The very fact that I realize this ( and you, too) is progress. Wishing you a less lonely year to come!

Victoria said...

Thanks, you too! *hugs*

Anonymous said...

Hi Victoria,

I've been following your blog for a while now and was thinking about things in general. I live in a completely different part of the world, but some challenges in life are universal!!

Hope you don't mind me commenting like this, but you really come across as a warm and fun person and I hear you - you would like to be in a happy and healthy relationship.


So sending out new year wishes in advance. I hope that you can spend more time doing the things that bring you happiness like
spending time with your family and good friends, photography, blogging, running, work? and did you mention drawing and painting as well.
At the same time, I hope that you can ditch the things that cause you unhappiness like thinking about Jay and worrying about meeting the right person.
I mean some people win the lottery, meet the perfect guy, have perfect children and then pass away peacefully in their sleep - lol, but most of us are somewhere along the spectrum trying to juggle this and that and make the best of things as they are.

But I think its great that you are on the dating site and are open to meeting new people.
And from previous posts I know that you sometimes feel unhappiness about weight and diet etc. No need to feel this way, but happily this is something that you can deal with yourself - there are plenty of clubs etc if you are inclined to go along.

Anyway, I think you have a lot going for you - please do not be to hard on yourself when things doing work out as planned.
Sometimes that's just the way it is.

Thanks for all the posts, I've connected with your blog and I do care about how you are.

Best wishes!!

Victoria said...

Thank you so much! :D