Thursday, 23 January 2014

So, Yeah

So this guy and I have been emailing for a couple of weeks and I've gotten to a point of comfort with the idea and certain parts of me are *very* excited about the prospect of being able to have some happy fun times (if and when we meet and I see that we have some chemistry and I feel comfortable with this guy.)

Our conversations at the end of last week got very personal, and the mind is a massive player in the whole bedroom arena and I was enjoying the thoughts and future possibilities.  (Even knowing that it might not go anywhere, it was still a ton of fun to think about and talk about.)

So all this is going on and we've decided that we'll go for a walk on Sunday if it's sunny.

Friday morning, I wake up and out of nowhere, there's a text from Jay.

He's letting me know that he's going to a rope work course (the type of rope work you'd use with a partner) and he remembers me complimenting a woman at Burning Man on the rope work she was wearing (it can be quite beautiful as an art form.)

I was pretty stunned to hear from him.

I told him I hoped he would enjoy it.  He asked how I was.  I said fine.  He told me he wasn't sure if he was going to Burning Man this year.  I said oh.  He asked if he could send me a hug.  I said, sure, hugs are always welcome from anyone.  He apologized.  Said this one would be too confusing.

I didn't say anything to that.

But I did sit down at my breakfast table and start to cry.

I'm not really sure why, but hearing from him made me sad.  Maybe sad that it didn't work out and I'd hoped it would?  Sad.

I cried for a bit, then got through the day a bit weirded out by his contact.

Friday evening, I watched a Pink Floyd documentary, which I only mention because that night I had a bizarre dream where I (as a young me) was at a party and met (a very old) David Bowie (who I only knew was David Bowie because it was a dream, he looked nothing like how David Bowie actually currently looks) and we ended up having sex because he wanted to and you don't say no to David Bowie.

So that was kind of weird, although I see where my brain sort of got the story from.

So waking up on Saturday, I was feeling a little "off" from having heard from Jay, but it was sunny and beautiful and that helped a lot.
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