Wednesday 28 May 2014

Sigh

Ok, so Burning Man's apparently not ... simple to get to or something?

I remember around this time last year realizing that Jay wasn't going to travel down with me (ironically, it turns out we probably could have travelled down together, but what's done is done and what's meant to be will be) and that I had no idea how I was going to get there and back.

I was terrified about the idea of driving myself and terrified about the idea of finding random (crazy?) strangers to travel with and I just didn't know how it was going to happen, but I wanted it to happen and I just... it was stressful.

This year, we had a plan.  Three of the four of us who travelled together last year were going again this year and we'd go together again, hurrah!  Easy peasy.  And maybe Jason would come with us, but probably not, but who knows, anything could happen, right?

Right.

But there was a new ticket sales system and I was lucky enough to get a ticket but my other two travel mates were not.

But that was only a medium sized deal because we'd get them tickets, maybe just last minute and ta da!

Except then I was denied all the time off I needed.

But, not a huge deal, I'd just leave early and fly back.  It would suck not travelling back with my crew but I'd still get to go.

Except they still don't have tickets and we're getting closer to D-Day.

And now Connor has been told he maybe won't get to take the time off from work because they're "too busy" in August, which sucks.

Because now it feels like nothing is certain.

I'm not sure anymore if I have a ride down, or if my ride down will be ok taking my gear back while I fly back.

People keep telling me they have a friend or so who's going and I can connect with them to travel but I wanted to go with people I knew.  I wanted to go with people I know I camp well with and get along with and can count on and will have fun with.

I don't know.

I just wish it wasn't being complicated again.

But maybe that's part of my Burning Man learning... to let go and trust that it'll work out somehow, even if I can't see how that "somehow" is going to look.

6 comments:

Jason Langlois said...

I think letting go and trusting is in the spirit of Burning Man, from what I understand.

And also very much in the spirit of everything you've been doing this year, so far.

Victoria said...

So many awesome things are in the spirit of Burning Man! But, yes, I am trying to let go and trust... lots of things :)

Kev in Van said...

Go. Just go. Promise you'll do one trip solo and see what that allows you to encounter. Like travelling to Europe solo. There will always be times to enjoy the company of old friends back home. But whenever we travel with them, we end up carrying a little bit of their baggage.

Just go. Because there are others also vowing to travel solo, and they are waiting for you to commit. Go. It's the easiest route.

Victoria said...

I just don't know if I can do the drive myself, I'm not someone who loves driving and it's a lot. I may see if someone can drive me down and I fly back, not sure yet. Am... trying to see what works, you know? :)

Kev in Van said...

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www.zeitgeisha.com/welcome-to-your-home-bass-in-the-mountains/

Victoria said...

Thanks for the idea Kev. I'd never heard of that before :)