Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Just Random Updates

So Jay, who very kindly (?) (oddly, perhaps?) let me know, out of nowhere, a few weeks ago that his regular checkup showed he does not have HIV.  (Which, sent my brain spinning for all sorts of reasons, including, were we going to have sex again and I just don't know it?  Do you let all your exes know your status?  Was this a concern, because I know we got tested before we were intimate but you're letting me know you're clean because it could have been un-detectable at the time and OMG have I never realized how lucky I've been?) has also let me know he's head over heels in love and moving to be with her.

Which, ok.  I hope it works out for them and that they're happy and I know he must be concerned about work post-accident so I guess I don't know enough to say if that seems wise or not, and really it's not my business, but do I find it kind of annoying?  Yeah, if I'm honest I do.  Selfishly. 

Not that I want to be back together or anything, but it's that whole comparison thing (which isn't fair) where I could beat myself up for the fact that no one's ever uprooted themselves to be with me.

Shrug.  Not going to latch on to it, but it did rumble through my head when he let me know.

Why did he let me know you may ask?  Well, I emailed him to ask if he was going to Burning Man.

He's pretty sure he's not, which is a mixed blessing because it would have solved my travel issues, but might have been tricky in terms of maybe we might have still found some physical attraction there.  I'm genuinely not sure that that would have been an issue, but old habits die hard, and I certainly have a habit of touching him when I'm around him.  But that's when we had a connection and cared about each other in some way. 

It certainly would have been interesting anyway.  In an intellectual sort of way, to see.

So, yeah, Jay's moving, looks like we won't be travelling to Burning Man together, he doesn't have HIV, he's head over heels in love.

Shrug.

In other news... I'm not moving, I'm really really hoping to be happily,safely and comfortably be travelling to Burning Man, I don't have HIV (or anything else) and I care a lot about someone and love them, and I'm really liking my hair right now.  So, there you go.

3 Comments:

Blogger Katie Tikalsky said...

I literally just came across your blog randomly this morning after a google search. I am really glad I did! I'm a single girl blogger too ( http://myowneatpreylove.blogspot.com) And I'm really loving what you have to say and how you say it. You've been at this game for a long time so I have a lot of reading to do! I just started and I'm loving every minute of it! I really loved your article called "Healthier". I am actually going to go and read that one again. Thanks for doing what you do, From another single girl!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 5:31:00 am  
Anonymous Jonathan said...

I know a few people that have been to Burning Man now, and read your stories about it with envy...

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 7:03:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Well thanks Katie :)

It's pretty amazing J. Not easy or cheap (although I guess it could be for some) but such a cool experience.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 9:06:00 am  

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