Friday, 3 October 2014
I feel like I'm gossiping talking about it, but it popped into my head last night for some reason so I figured my brain wanted the chance to talk.
I haven't seen him in ages, not being comfortable with him hanging out at my place and his wife not being aware of it, no matter if Vince himself has no problem with it. But I am at fault for not being clear about this with Vince. Instead I've just being saying no when he invites himself over and this is my fault..... my wimpiness and lack of strength in being direct.
He texted a few times after I was back from Burning Man and really upset and stressed with everything and while I maintain that texting is not a good method of communicating, when he asked if I was happy to have him bugging me again I answered honestly "no, not really, sorry."
I'd meant it to be light hearted. But honest. But he took it, it seems, as unkind.
He wrote me a scathing text back about how anyone else who treated him as horribly as I did would not be spoken to again so it was best he just left well enough alone with me goodbye.
And I just let it go.
The lesson I'd like to teach myself here is to be honest about how I'm feeling, even if I feel uncomfortable saying it. I feel like I should have told Vince I didn't feel comfortable with a friendship, didn't feel comfortable with him wanting to come over and hang out. And maybe I should have even told him I found his texts at times to be frustrating and annoying, I don't know. I just figure it might have been better to be clear.
Or maybe not.
I know he's been angry with me before and stopped talking to me for a while so perhaps I'll hear from him again when things settle down.
At which point, I still don't know what I'll do or say, seeing as texts, again, are not a great form of communication, but I don't feel comfortable having him over to tell him I don't want to have him over anymore.
It's too bad Jason doesn't live with me. Then I could have Vince over and introduce him and...well, I feel like that might stop his late night requests for visits.
Anyway. Even just writing this has left me feeling icky and kind of gross like I'm talking about Vince behind his back or something, so I'm stopping now. Maybe lets just pretend this never happened.
And please, learn from the error of my ways and be honest, don't try to save people's feelings too much.
Or perhaps not at all... what do I know?