Thursday 23 July 2015

Just the Facts, Man

Because they amuse me, I thought I'd share with you the titles and maybe some of the content of some of the spam emails I get this week.  So.... drum roll please.... here are lines that someone, somewhere, thinks will attract the attention of some guy somewhere.

(I shall edit the naughtiest words to keep the strange google searches away!  And, yes, I opened these emails just for you.  Such is the depth of my commitment to your amusement and entertainment!)

Spam1:  Title:  Deep BJ request  Message highlight: "it was a pleasure sexting with you"  Awww, that's so sweet!

Spam 2:  Title:  My BF left, text me!  Message highlight:  BTW, don’t think that the girls you can socialize with via our system are hookers.  Oh, ok. 

Spam 3:  Title:  What's new?  I'm turned on wanna drop by?  Message highlight:  Same as above.  Booooring.


Spam 4:  Title:  Urgent InstaSex Notification. Message highlight:  Naughty b*tch needs to be accused in the a$$.  Accused?  In the bottom?  LOL.  And?  They supplied the dollar signs for the bum word.  Wouldn't want to offend anyone with their spam after all!

Spam 5:  Title:  greets (Yup, "greets"!) Message highlight:  I adore 2make out! lol "lol" indeed.  I adore 2make out too I guess?

Spam 6:  Title:  I'm going commando, wanna sleep over? (OMG me too!!!  Wait, you meant you sleep naked, yes?)  Message highlight:  Our dating service is operating to promote NSA sex.  Wow, NSA?  As in... National Security Agency sex?  Cool, I have no idea what that's is but good for you!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

-Beyond the religious connotations in the emails you've have purchased...I mean opened, did you see the one that says, "I love you. Now get on all fours; we're ridin' them like a cowboy today." In the picture is a guy with his hand around the gal's ponytail pulling her head backward -it's a close up shot so there isn't any nudity in it...As they say, 'A bikini is always better than merely a naked body.'

Er, have a good day...or romp, whatever...you prefer....!


-Oh dear, this thing about positions and getting them just right.

Elliott said...

I think that some ISPs must have been hit with some spamming barrage. We were getting upwards of 10-15 of these emails a day last week. Every one of them came from an icloud.com address. They stopped just as quickly as they started which is why I'm guessing someone (something?) was attacking ISPs.

As vulgar as some of them were, we did a laugh from some of them. We especially laughed at the ones that used symbols rather than letters. I'm just glad our kids are old enough now not to be too offended...

Victoria said...

I haven't seen that one Anon ;)

That's crazy E. And yeah, the ones that try to make the words le$$ rude, it's like, really? Pffft ;)