Wednesday, 12 August 2015

A Little Melancholy

The days are getting noticeably shorter.  It's dark at 9:30 now, and the mornings aren't quite so bright.

I know this is what time does, and life, but it still fills me with a certain sadness to know that summer is slowing down.

I've had a really good summer.  I've felt really relaxed by it, although I wouldn't say it's been easy.  Lots of thinking and personal change/growth that I'm not even really sure I processed yet. 

I'm not saying the hot weather is done, that's yet to be seen, but I have my holiday time coming up, including a family trip (long time since we've all done that) and then, of course, Burning Man, and whatever that is going to bring this year.

I'm fairly proud of how I'm managing my stress level right not, to be honest.  My living room has been strewn with the innards of the two giant bins I pack for Burning Man, and my bike (I fixed some lights and things on it, and Jason had it for ages to work on the cables and I lost my spot in the bike locker apparently... will deal with that when I'm back) and clutter in my apartment generally isn't calming.  So that's going on and I'm trying to figure out packing for two trips, and if I can finish packing for the second one before I even leave on the first one and trying not to spend money but finding all those last minute things I feel I need.  Like batteries for the lantern I haven't checked since last year... all the batteries on things have needed replaced this go around and so that means I needed new batteries. 

And to make sure that I have enough of whatever I need (medications and food) for the two days in between my trips and then for when I get back, oh and also mailing off birthday cards and things to people since I won't be here to do that and figuring out when to do laundry, and water my plants and then hearing people online (stupid online) worrying about the weather (talk of rain and high winds) and thinking of all the details of a two vehicle road trip and co-ordination (walkie talkies, so as not to text while driving or use up phone calls... should work we figure?) and all the what if's I know can potentially happen and then the huge what if of the people I've said I'll try to meet up with when we're down there and even one who might be more than huggable and not to mention we don't actually know where we're camping but have a spot where we'd *like* to camp (by the neighbours we met last year and now call friends) but what if that's not available and what if it rains on our entry this year and what if X, Y, Z, and I'm doing pretty well just breathing.

Breathing and reminding myself we'll work it out.  Connor and I have done this twice together now and it's been fine.  More than, really.  Always smooth, even with the vehicle breakdowns first year.  So, it's just Sarah and being with her that's the new portion for the drive.  And it's good to get a change in there as there's no guarantee Connor will always be able to drive with me.  I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but we're down to just the three of us, and we'll make that work no problem too.

So, yeah, I'm managing the stress pretty well I think.  Packing and organizing and sorting and preparing and planning and imagining and getting worried but then reminding myself not to.... that it won't help or change anything. 

Oh, and that's just my travel thoughts... not the rest of life thoughts, ha!

Like, say, how to find the head space and emotional time and literal time to write posts, and what?  Posts for when I'm away too?  Oh geez. 

Cross your fingers y'all.  Apparently I need to get my brain back into writing mode, and quick.


Blogger Jason Langlois said...

As I was reading this I was getting more and more stressed... but then paused and reminded myself that you are a capable, intelligent, talented, and amazing person who, based on the evidence in this blog, are more than capable of problem-solving and looking out for yourself.

It helped.

Then I just got really excited for you and your upcoming adventures. :)

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 8:54:00 am  
Blogger Victoria said...

Oh no, sorry to stress you out! ;) And thanks :)

Wednesday, August 12, 2015 8:40:00 pm  

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